


That Would Be Enough

by molstrom



Series: Wait For It [3]
Category: Sons of Anarchy, Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:14:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27020320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/molstrom/pseuds/molstrom
Summary: Continues where "I know him" leaves off. Juice and Veronica are together.
Relationships: Veronica Mars/Juice Ortiz
Series: Wait For It [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968967
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

I hear Jax and Opie talking in the hallway as Juice and I are fixing our clothes. Jax says:  
“Juice and Veronica are in the bathroom. I don’t recommend opening the door.”  
“Why? It’s not like we all haven’t seen her fucking people…Like, all the people.”  
“True. But that’s her job…That’s Lilly Belle…Not Veronica.”  
“She fucks Dick and Mac to pay her rent. Did you know that?”  
“No, but they are her best friends. If it works for them, why does it bother you?”  
“It doesn’t bother me. If she wants to whore herself out, that’s her business.”  
“Ope, you’re being a little harsh right now. Are you into Veronica?”  
“No. If I was I would have asked her to fuck me last night. She would have, you know, as I said, she fucks anyone.”

I feel my eyes fill with tears and I kiss Juice before I whisper:  
“I’ll text you my address. Come over later. I’m going to go.”  
“He’s just hurting right now, love.”  
“Yeah, but I came over last night because he needed me, and now he’s lashing out at me. I don’t want to be here.”  
“Okay.”

I open the door and walk past Jax and Opie to get to the bedroom to grab my shoes and purse, then I walk back towards the front door, kissing the kids on the top of their heads before I leave the house.

As I’m getting in the car, Opie walks out of the house and says:  
“Where are you going? I thought you wouldn’t leave? We need you.”  
“Why would you need a whore in your life, Ope?”  
“I didn’t mean it.”  
“Yes, you did. You just didn’t intend for me to hear you.”  
“Veronica…”  
“For the record, I will never and would never fuck you.”

I get in the car and drive home. When I walk in, no-one’s there but there’s a note from Mac on the fridge:  
‘V…I’m sorry about Donna. We decided to go home early, I’ll call you later. We love you. -M.’

I send a quick text to Juice giving him my address, then I go shower. When I get out I have multiple text messages. The one from Juice says:  
‘I’m on my way.’  
‘Come right in, the door is open.’

I have three messages from Opie saying:  
‘I’m sorry, Veronica.’  
‘Really…I’m so sorry. I never should have lashed out at you.’  
‘Please, Veronica…Talk to me.’  
I respond simply by saying:  
‘Leave me alone.’

While I’m waiting for Juice to get to the house, I sit down and finish the homework I normally would be doing tomorrow, but since I have to work tomorrow I won’t get to it. I get it finished as he walks into my office behind me.

He wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my neck.  
“Hi, my baby.”  
“I need you to explain why you left…Why you became Juice.”  
“Okay…Do you want me to do that now, or after I make you scream?”  
“Now. Please.”  
“Alright. Let’s go sit in the living room.”

Go go and sit on the couch, facing each other, and he says:  
“After you left that day, Lamb told me again that I needed to leave you alone. We watched Logan pick you up, and Lamb said that he hated to say it but Logan was a better choice for you.”  
“And you listened to him?”  
“He and Mom got in my head. Mom was convinced I was going to hurt you and when Lamb said that Logan would be better for you, I took that to mean that I was really bad for you.”  
“You’re an idiot.”  
“I understand that. I’ll probably regret that day for the rest of my life.”  
“So what happened after that?”  
“Lamb and Sacks left, and Mom suggested that I leave for Japan earlier than planned. I didn’t think I’d be able to stay away from you if I came back to school, so I agreed with Mom’s plan. I left two days later. When I talked to Mom a week later, she said you were dating Logan and that you seemed happy.”  
“A week later? But she knew I was pregnant then…She didn’t tell you? Why didn’t she tell you?”  
“She knew? I assumed you didn’t tell them.”  
“She came to ultrasounds with me. Your parents knew. Hell, your Mom and Alicia are the ones who took care of me after Angelica died.”  
“They never told me, baby.”  
“So, Japan.”  
“Yeah. I was only supposed to be there until the end of July, but I didn’t want to come home…So I disappeared. I left all my ID and my phone in the hotel room and worked odd jobs to support myself. I stayed there for six months, it’s easy to disappear in Tokyo.”  
“Why didn’t you want to come home?”  
“I couldn’t bear the thought of having to watch someone else have his hands on you.”  
“I have never dated anyone I wouldn’t leave in a heartbeat for you. I love you more than anyone else I’ve ever met.”  
“I love you, Veronica. I’m sorry, baby.”  
“And after Tokyo?”  
“I got a job on a fishing boat heading to Australia. I stayed there when the boat left. I actually ran into Duncan one day on the beach.”  
“Clarence set you up with your new identity, didn’t he?”  
“Yup.”  
“Fucking Clarence…But why Charming? Why the Sons?”  
“Clarence and Piney are old friends.”  
“You’re kidding.”  
“I was surprised too.”  
“Why not just come home, baby?”  
“You were graduated by this point, Clarence told me that you and Logan were practically living together. I didn’t want to interfere.”  
“We were dating, nowhere near living together.”  
“Did you love him?”  
“Yes. But nothing like what I feel for you. He knew that…It’s part of what led to our break up. Did you know the Sons were criminals before you patched in?”  
“Yes.”  
“And you still did it?”  
“I wanted a family.”  
“You had a family. All you had to do was show up.”  
“I thought you had moved on, so I resigned myself to this. To being a Son. To fucking crow-eaters. To being a criminal…Then you were in that club and I thought maybe you were there for me…But then you didn’t recognize me.”  
“Yes, I did. I just thought I was crazy because you wouldn’t have treated me that way.”  
“My original plan was to walk in that bathroom and fuck you against the wall.”  
“That would have been preferable.”  
“You would have fucked me that night?”  
“Without question.”  
“Damn. Can I go back in time and have a redo, please?”  
“Nope. All we can do is move forward.”  
“Be my old lady.”  
“What exactly does that entail?”  
“Being mine. Not fucking anyone but me…Personally, not work-wise.”  
“So I’d have to start paying my rent in cash then.”  
“I guess.”  
“Okay. What does it mean for you?”  
“Means no more crow-eaters, means I get you, means you’re protected.”  
“And we’d live separately?”  
“No. I can move in with you, or you can move in with me.”  
“I can’t be an old lady and live on my own?”  
“Oh, you can be. But I refuse to spend another night without you.”  
“So demanding.”  
“Move in with me, baby.”  
“Okay…but I need you to promise me something.”  
“What, baby?”  
“You have to tell me everything. I can’t live like Donna did, not knowing anything. And I need you to stay alive. I can handle you going to prison, but I need you alive…That would be enough.”  
“I promise I will do my best.”  
“I accept that promise.”   
“I need one from you.”  
“What, babe?”  
“You won’t kill Opie for being a fucking moron.”  
“Fine.”  
“And you’ll come to family dinner tonight.”  
“Fine. How long until we have to leave?”  
“A few hours.”

I move to straddle him and say:  
“Someone said something about making me scream.”  
He growls and says:  
“I have to ask…How many of those orgasms in your movies are real?”  
“If I’m with Lyla, it’s real. Otherwise, they’re all fake. Honestly…We’re usually on set for like nine hours. By the end of the day, everything just fucking hurts.”  
“Quit, baby. I’ll take care of you.”  
“We have a couple of big movies coming up. If I do them, we’ll have royalties coming in for years, also, my pay will be more for these shoots.”  
“Why?”  
“I get a bonus for every performer that actually fucks me…These are multi-penetration movies, for me and Lyla. If I quit, Lyla loses them too. It’s the Saffron Sisters.”  
“I shouldn’t have asked.”  
“Hey…this isn’t news to you, baby.”  
“I know. I’m okay.”  
“Are you?”  
“Yes. As long as when you aren’t on set you’re mine.”  
“I’m yours…Now, the screaming?”

He stands up and carries me towards the bedroom.


	2. Two

A couple of hours later, we’re stepping out of the shower and Juice says:  
“You have to work tomorrow?”  
“Yeah. My scenes from today got pushed back.”  
“Stay with me tonight.”  
“Okay. But I need to sleep. If I show up looking tired, Luann will kill me.”  
“I am capable of being in bed with you without keeping you awake.”  
“You never were in high school.”  
“Hey…the very first night we slept in a bed together you slept the whole night.”  
“I was drugged and unconscious! That doesn’t count and you know it. And what do you mean, I slept the whole night? What about you? Didn’t you sleep?”  
“I couldn’t sleep. I had had a crush on you for years and you were in my bed…Looking so peaceful and perfect, smelling like fucking marshmallows…I just wanted to touch you…But you were out of it when you were awake and completely passed out when you weren’t, so I just stayed awake most of the night and stared at you.”

I laugh at him, wrinkling my nose as I wrap my arms around his neck before I say:  
“Oh…Juice…That’s both adorable and terribly creepy.”  
“Oh, shut up.”  
“I love you.”  
“I’ve loved you since we were like…eight, Veronica.”  
“Let’s get ready for this family dinner. Will Luann be there?”  
“Usually.”  
“Good. I want to let her know that after the next couple of movies, I’m quitting.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. I’ll go back to babysitting when we need extra money…At least, if you were serious about the whole me moving in with you and you taking care of me thing.”  
“I was completely serious.”  
“I’ll let Dick know he can look for another tenant, or sell the apartment.”  
“We’re really doing this?”  
“You literally just said you were serious!”  
“I am. I want to make sure you are.”  
“I have been in love with you since we were sixteen, Juice. Yes. I’m serious. One thing though…”  
“What?”  
“We need to go to Neptune. We need to see your parents…and Dad. I can’t lie to them.”  
“Okay. When?”  
“I have no classes or scenes on Tuesday.”  
“Okay.”  
“Yeah? You promise?”  
“I promise, baby.”  
“Good. Let’s go get dressed and get to family dinner before we’re late and Gemma gets mad.”

He laughs and says:  
“Yeah…The queen can be scary.”

Two hours later we’re walking into Gemma and Clay’s house. Luann approaches me and wraps her arms around me.  
“Hi, sweetheart. How is he?”  
“He was fine this morning when he was calling me a whore. Haven’t talked to him since I left.”  
“Lashing out at the one person he wanted there after hearing the news…Idiot.”  
“His wife just died. We need to cut him a little slack.”  
“The funeral is tomorrow. Are you going to be okay being at work?”  
“Yes. I’m not needed at the funeral.”

One of the women walking between the kitchen and the dining room says:  
“Not needed here either, porn whore.”  
Luann says:  
“She’s an old lady, unlike you, crow-eater. Show her some respect.”  
“What moron made a whore like her an old lady?”  
Juice says:  
“I did. Leave her alone.”

The woman walks away and I step away from Luann, towards Juice, putting my hand on his waist before saying:  
“I think I’m going to go. Me being here is creating undue drama. It should be about supporting Opie and the kids, not about me. Can I have your house key? I’ll just wait for you at home.”  
“Are you sure, Veronica?”  
“Yeah.”

He hands me his keys and kisses me before saying:  
“I’ll text you the address.”  
“Thanks, babe.”

I walk out the door towards the car and get stopped by Ellie and Kenny running to hug me.  
“Ronnie…Why are you leaving?”  
“Because it’s best if I’m not here, loves.”  
“You’re coming to Mommy’s funeral tomorrow, right?”  
“No, sweetheart. I’m not. I have to work tomorrow.”  
“Mommy was your friend.”  
“Yes, she was. I loved her very much. But I have to work.”  
“Fine. Go. We don’t need you anyways.”  
Ellie turns around and pulls Kenny with her into the house. From behind me, I hear Opie say:  
“Ellie!”

I turn around and say:  
“It’s fine. She’s upset. She has every right to be. If she needs to hate me right now, I can take it.”

I start walking towards the car again and he grabs my arm before saying:  
“Veronica, please stay.”  
“No. Go inside, Opie.”  
“You’re really not coming to the funeral?”  
“I was supposed to film today, but since I didn’t sleep last night, Luann pushed my scenes back to tomorrow. I have to work, I don’t have a choice.”  
“You could quit.”  
“Sure…I could. But if I do I screw over Lyla. It’s not fair to her if I quit in the middle of a series of Saffron Sisters movies.”  
“You’re putting protecting that porn whore over being here for your family.”  
“I’m a porn whore. Remember? Go inside.”

I pull my arm away and get in the car.

By the time Juice gets home a few hours later, I’m asleep. When I wake up the next morning he’s asleep next to me and there’s a note on his bedside table.  
‘I told you I could sleep in a bed with you without keeping you up all night. Wake me up. I want to fuck you.’

I carefully get up out of bed and take my pyjamas off before climbing back into bed and pulling his pyjama pants down. I run my tongue along the length of his cock, and he wakes up with a moan.  
“You could have just shaken me awake.”  
“Way less fun.”  
“I don’t disagree. Come here.”

I climb up the bed towards him, sliding the head of his quickly hardening cock into me as I lean forward to kiss him. He groans and says:  
“Can we start every morning like this?”  
“Yes, please.”  
He kisses me and flips us so he’s on top before he moves his mouth off of mine and kisses down my neck.  
“No biting today, love. I can’t show up to set with bruises.”  
“How long until you can quit?”  
“Three weeks.”  
“I can handle that.”

We slowly make love and after we both finish, he says:  
“Are you going to make me wait until after you graduate law school to get you pregnant?”

I look at him and shake my head.  
“No. But we should wait a while, love.”  
“Yeah, I know.”  
“I have to go to work. I’m going to go to my place after because I have class in the morning. I’ll start packing and call Dick tonight.”  
“Okay. I love you.”  
“Ya, you do.”  
“Brat.”


	3. Three

Over the next three weeks, Luann amps up our filming schedule to make sure everything is done before I quit. This leads to some very long days for me as most days I’m going to class all day then the studio for eight hours before going home.

Juice ends up having to pack up my apartment with Gemma’s help because I just don’t have any time and Dick found another tenant very quickly.

The next time I see any club member besides Juice and Chibs — who comes by the house quite regularly — it’s at Bobby’s release party the day after I officially stop being a Saffron Sister.

When we get there, the party prep is still going on, so I step in to help Gemma. One of the crow-eaters says:  
“Oh look, the porn whore is back.”  
I look at her and smile and say:  
“Actually, it’s ex-porn whore. Now I’m just a pre-law university student on a full-ride scholarship to Stanford with a 4.3 GPA who also happens to be an old lady. You’re a crow-eater, right?”  
“Yes.”  
“Pretty sure that means that you should be showing me some fucking respect. I’m higher in the fucking food chain than you…Whore.”  
“Yes, ma’am. Sorry.”

I look at Gemma and she’s grinning.  
“I’m glad you figured that out, sweetheart. Make them respect you, and if they won’t respect you, make them fear you.”  
“What’s your advice for club members who won’t respect me as Juice’s old lady?”  
“Hit them.”  
“You’re suggesting I hit Opie? The dude’s like twelve and a half feet tall.”  
“He loves you, baby. He considers you one of his best friends. He’s just hurting. You have to snap him out of it.”  
“And me hitting him would do that?”  
“Well, normally I’d suggest using that pretty pussy of yours, but since Juicy Boy has been talking about how much he wants kids, that might not be advisable.”  
“I went off birth control last week. I haven’t told him.”  
“He’ll be thrilled, baby.”  
“I know. I’m just scared, Gemma. I was so happy to be pregnant last time, but holding her in my arms after she was born dead? It broke me. I wanted to die. His mother and my Dad’s girlfriend at the time kept me alive…mostly by force.”  
“Oh, I know that feeling baby. After my Thomas died…Nothing mattered to me, not even Jax. Not for a long time.”  
“What fixes it?”  
“Time and trust in the people who love you…And baby? That boy is head over heels in love with you.”  
“The feeling is mutual.”  
“Good. Don’t hurt him. He’s sensitive.”  
“He always has been. Not that he likes to show it to people.”

A little while later the party is in full swing and I’m standing next to Gemma when a car pulls into the lot. All the guys walk up to see what’s going on and Gemma takes my hand to keep me with her.  
“I know you’re curious baby. But if you’re up there, his focus is going to be divided between the threat and you. It’s safer for everyone if you are back here with me.”  
“You’re taking Abel home in a bit, right?”  
“Yeah. You want to come with?”  
“Yeah. If that’s okay with you. Juice doesn’t need me here.”  
“Of course, baby.”

After the strangers leave, we walk up to Clay and Gemma says:  
“Who was that?”  
“Just some of Darby’s friends. Nothing to worry about.”

I wander over to where Juice is standing with the guys and I kiss his cheek before saying:  
“I’m gonna go with Gemma and Abel. Have fun. No crow-eaters. I’ll see you at home later.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah. I like baby snuggles as much as the next girl.”  
“Do you? Really?”  
I stand on my toes and whisper against his ear:  
“I went off birth control a week ago. I want to have your babies.”  
He grins and hugs me before saying:  
“Are you sure?”  
“I have been in love with you since I was sixteen. Yes, I’m fucking sure. Now, I have to go before the queen leaves without me.”

I’m holding and feeding Abel while Gemma and I chat when Tara comes in. When she sees me she says:  
“What are you doing here?”  
“Baby fever…And I really hate parties.”  
“Are you and Juice trying?”  
“We’re not…not trying.”  
Gemma says:  
“Veronica went off of her birth control. What about you, Tara? You on the pill?”  
“Afraid I’m using Jax to get knocked up?”  
“Oh, Jesus, I hope not. If you’re going to trap someone, make sure they have money.”  
I snort and earn a glare from Gemma. Tara says:  
“What do you think Gemma? About me and Jax?”  
“Do you care?”  
“He does.”  
“You really want my advice?”  
“Yes.”  
“Fine. This goes for both of you. Full disclosure.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“It’s the only way this works. You are both too smart…Too neurotic to live in the vague. They need to tell you everything. No truth, no pussy. Draw the line.”  
Tara says:  
“I’m not sure I want to know.”  
“Then this will never work.”  
“Did John tell you everything?”  
“You love the man, you learn to love the club.”

Gemma kisses Tara and says goodnight. I turn to follow her to the door, and Tara says:  
“Ronnie, wait.”  
“Yeah?”  
She walks over to me and softly kisses me before saying:  
“You aren’t a whore. Ignore them. Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight, Tara.”

Gemma and I are in her car when a minivan pulls up behind us at a light and starts honking. The driver gets out and runs up to the car, screaming about her baby choking. We both get out of the car to go help. The driver hits me and then must hit Gemma, because the next thing I know, we’re both handcuffed to a chainlink fence in a building. I hear talking before I open my eyes. A man and a woman. The man says:  
“You were just supposed to bring the one.”  
“The other one saw me. I couldn’t just leave her. Plus, she’s an old lady too.”

When Gemma starts struggling next to me, I open my eyes. There are three men standing in front of us wearing masks. Gemma says:  
“What do you want? Do you know who we are? Do you know what we can do to you?”

Gemma kicks one of them and another one punches her and rips her clothes. The third does the same to me. It takes two of them to get Gemma’s pants off and then they move on to me. They take turns raping us. Seems like we are there for hours. One of them says to Gemma:  
“I’m sorry, ma’am. We’re almost done. We need you to pass on a message to your old man…”

I didn’t hear the rest of the message because the one raping me says:  
“You weren’t supposed to be here. If you hadn’t been with her, you would have been safe. I am enjoying the porn star pussy though.”

I look at Gemma and she looks like she’s going to pass out, so I say:  
“Stop. She can’t take any more. Focus on me.”

One of them punches me, hard, and I pass out. When I wake up, I’m on the ground next to Gemma and we’re under a blanket. I can hear Unser’s voice calling:  
“Gemma? Are you in there?”  
We both start calling for him and he shoots the lock on the door to get in. When he sees us, he says:  
“Oh my god.”  
Gemma says:  
“Get us out of here.”

Once we’re in the car, Gemma and Unser have a conversation about the anonymous tip that came in about her car. Unser wants to take us to St.Thomas, but Gemma won’t let him, so we end up at Tara’s house. Tara cleans the wounds on our faces, but then says:  
“We have to go to the hospital.”  
Gemma says:  
“No.”  
“I can’t treat you in my living room.”  
“I’d have to check-in. The insurance and shit. Everyone will know.”  
“We’ll take Abel. I’ll say we’re running more tests. That’ll only work as a cover for one of you though.”

I say:  
“I have insurance under my actual name, but also under a fake ID. I used that the last time I needed medical treatment without my Dad finding out. I’ll check in with that…As long as you can keep it under wraps…I don’t want everyone to know either.”  
“I can run your tests at the same time as Gemma’s. I’ll keep you together and hidden.”  
“Thank you.”

Gemma says:  
“You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone. Not Clay, Not Jax. No-one.”  
“I won’t say anything.”

Unser tells Tara to stay with us and he leaves the house. Tara holds Gemma’s hand and I curl into Gemma’s side, us both providing as much comfort to each other as possible. We sit like that for a few minutes and then my phone rings. I look at it and don’t answer. Gemma says:  
“Who is it?”  
“Juice. He must be home and wondering where I am.”

We go over to Jax’s and pick up Abel before going to St. Thomas’s. Once we’re there, I check in using my fake ID and Tara checks in Abel. She lets the nurse know that she’ll be handling my exam as well and not to bother finding me a room. The nurse nods and goes back to work.

Tara examines Gemma and then me. Aside from Plan B that she gives me, Gemma and I get the same treatment…Antibiotics and time. Unser comes in and says:  
“I told them you were in a car accident. Clay’s here.”

I text Juice:  
‘Gemma and I were in a car accident. We’re with Tara at St. Thomas’s.’  
‘We knew Gemma was. We didn’t know you were with her still. We’re in the waiting room.’

Tara says:  
“I’ll go talk to them.”  
I say:  
“Wait. Let me get dressed. I’ll come with you.”

I quickly get dressed, when Unser sighs and turns away I say:  
“Wayne…the whole world has seen my naked body. I have no shame left.”

Tara and I leave the room and let Gemma talk to Unser. Once Tara and I are in the hallway, she says:  
“You talk to the guys. I’m going to fill out some forms and officially discharge Vivian Reynolds before coming in.”  
“Okay. Car accident…concrete barrier…”  
“Yup. You good?”  
“I’ve been raped before, Tara. Unfortunately, this is not a new experience.”

I walk towards the waiting room, and when I get to the doorway Juice steps towards me to hug me. I step backwards and say:  
“I hurt. Please don’t touch me.”  
Clay says:  
“How’s Gemma?”  
“She’s in pain. Just bruises, Clay. She’ll be fine.”  
“And you, baby?”  
“Same. I was stupidly not wearing a seatbelt so I hit the dash as the airbag deployed.”  
“You took a pretty good shot to the face.”  
“Yeah. Not the worst I’ve ever experienced. No-one tried to kill me or lock me in a chest freezer while everything around it was on fire or taze me until I was willing to jump off a roof or drug me and then hit me repeatedly in the head…It was a good night all around.”  
“Where the hell did you grow up?”  
“Neptune is on a Hellmouth, I’m sure of it.”

As I’m standing there, Unser says:  
“Luann’s studio got raided by the feds. They took everything.”

And then my phone rings.  
“Luann?”  
“Veronica…I know you quit, but would you be willing to come back for a bit once I get back up and running? Georgie is trying to poach all my talent and if I have any chance of surviving I need you and Lyla together.”  
“Let me talk to Juice, okay? I will call you back in a bit.”

I hang up and look at Juice, and he says:  
“No. No way. I feel for Luann, I do, but baby…you’re out. We’re trying to have a baby. No.”  
I blink at him, and he says:  
“No. You don’t want to do it any more than I want you to. You hated it. You only started working for her because fucking Dick and Mac convinced you that you needed to distance yourself from me…from the club. No.”  
I just keep looking at him, and he says:  
“Stop looking at me like that, Veronica Mars. That’s the look you used to give me when you wanted to trade your apple for my pudding in the second grade.”  
“And it worked every damn time.”  
“I hate you.”  
“Juice. She’s going to lose everything if she can’t get back up and running.”  
“I don’t care. I don’t. You’re not doing it.”  
“You know I don’t follow orders well.”

He steps closer to me and whispers in my ear:  
“I also know that you are holding yourself and moving in the same way as you did after Cassidy. I’m not buying the car accident story and you will tell me the truth at home. But you are not going back to CaraCara. I will stop you. Even if that means I have to tell your Dad and my parents how you’ve been supporting yourself.”  
“You wouldn’t.”  
“Try me, Mars.”  
“You are really threatening to call my Dad, the ex-sheriff who just started liking you again, and tell him that I’ve been doing porn to support myself?”  
“Yes.”  
“How do you think that’s going to go for you?”  
“Probably not well. But I’ll do it.”  
“Brave, stubborn man. Fine. I won’t help Luann.”  
He kisses my cheek and says:  
“Are you okay to get home? We need to go check on Luann.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Veronica…are you okay?”  
“What? You expect me to cry? I’m fucking peachy. Although badass Veronica Mars might be making a reappearance.”  
“I have pity for anyone who gets in her way. That girl is fucking terrifying.”

The guys all leave and I sink down into the nearest chair and start to cry. The next thing I know, Tara is sitting next to me, holding my hand.  
“It’ll be okay, Veronica.”  
“I know. I just won’t cry in front of him, and since we live together now, I thought I’d take advantage of the empty waiting room.”  
“You should go home, Ronnie.”  
“Yeah. You’re right.”

I kiss her cheek and leave the room. As I’m walking down the hall, I see Luann holding an ice pack to Lyla’s face.   
“What happened?”  
“Those idiots stirred things up and Georgie sent a goon after Lyla. He’ll be coming for you too, baby…what happened to you?”  
“Car accident. I’m fine. Lyla? Are you okay?”  
“Peachy.”

As I’m sitting with them, Jax and Chibs walk up. Luann yells at Jax for stirring shit up, and he yells:  
“Who the hell do you think you are talking to? Call the rest of your talent. Tell them to lock their goddamn doors.”

Then he looks at me and says:  
“Veronica, go to the clubhouse.”  
“No. I’m going home.”  
He gets in my face and yells:  
“Go to the goddamn clubhouse. Lock yourself in the apartment. That’s a fucking order.”  
“Good thing I don’t take orders from you. I’m going home.”  
“Every time I’ve tried to protect you, the whole time I’ve known you, you fight me. Every fucking time. Why?”  
“I don’t need you to protect me. I’ve been through hell, and I’m still here. I’m not afraid of Georgie.”  
“Were you serious earlier about going back to work?”  
“Yeah. But you heard Juice.”  
“I can make Juice play ball. I’ll come by and see you later, okay? Don’t let anyone who isn’t a Son in the house.”  
“Okay.”  
He kisses my cheek and leaves.

I’m home for four hours when Jax shows up. He grins at me through the locked screen door and says:  
“You gonna let me in?”  
“I haven’t decided yet.”  
“Come on, darlin’. Let me in.”  
“I don’t appreciate you yelling at me earlier.”  
“I’m sorry.”

I unlock the door and let him in before walking into the living room and sitting down. When he sits down next to me, I move away from him, and when he reaches for my hand, I pull away and start crying.  
“Okay…You need to tell me what the fuck happened.”  
“I can’t. I promised I wouldn’t.”  
“Veronica. You need to talk to me. How can you possibly go back to work for Luann if I can’t even touch your hand?”  
“I can just do girl-on-girl for a while. It’ll be fine.”  
“Sweetheart, talk to me.”  
“You can’t say anything…To anyone. Promise me.”  
“I promise.”  
“Gemma and I weren’t in a car crash…Unser staged that to explain our bruises.”  
“What really happened?”  
“We were taken, chained up, and repeatedly raped by three masked men. They just wanted Gemma, but I was with her, so they took me too. I think their goal is to hurt SAMCRO by hurting Gemma…I think that’s why she doesn’t want anyone to know.”  
“Can I please hug you?”  
“Yes. But not too tight, okay?”

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me so I’m across his lap. I rest my head against his shoulder and keep crying. He says:  
“The club voted to partner with Luann to get her back up and running. You and Lyla are going to do six months more partnership to get her going, okay?”  
“Yeah…you convinced Juice of that?”  
“I ordered him to allow it. We need you. Lilly Belle is Luann’s top earner…You and that adorable body and perfect pussy. The studio won’t succeed without you.”  
“Not so perfect right now.”  
“I will find them and I will kill them for what they did to you.”

Juice walks in then and says:  
“So you were raped.”  
“Yeah.”  
“How come he can hug you, but when I tried earlier you wouldn’t let me?”  
I hold my hand out to him and say:  
“Come here, Juice.”  
Jax picks me up a bit, and Juice sits on the couch so I end up on his lap with my legs across Jax. Jax lets me go and Juice wraps his arms around me before Jax gets up and kisses the top of my head.  
“I’ll let Luann know you’re on board but that you need to only do girls for now, also that you need a few days to heal.”  
“Thank you.”


	4. Four

I snuggle into Juice and say:  
“I didn’t let you hug me because I would have started to cry, and Gemma doesn’t want anyone to know what happened.”  
“But now Jax knows.”  
“Yeah…she’s going to kill me.”  
He kisses the side of my head and says:  
“What can I do, Ronnie?”  
“I need to go shower, then can you just hold me?”  
“How’s your range of movement?”  
“Subpar.”  
“Do you need help in the shower?”  
“Yeah…but…”  
“I can control myself, baby.”  
“Okay. I’d appreciate the help then.”

We both get up and walk into the bathroom. He helps me get undressed, touching me as little as possible. As I get into the shower, he gets undressed. When he gets in the shower he puts his hand on my face and says:  
“My poor baby. I’m sorry they hurt you.”  
I wrap my arms around his neck and lean in to press my forehead to his.  
“I love you.”  
“Can I touch you, baby?”

I lean in and kiss him, ignoring the punch of panic in my gut when he wraps his arms around my waist. I step closer to him and wrap my arms tighter around him, still kissing him as he pulls me against himself. He pulls his mouth off of mine and says:  
“Veronica, what do you want me to do?”  
“Love me…Please. Show me that you still love me.”  
“I will always love you, but baby, you’re hurt.”  
“Just be gentle.”  
“You’re traumatized.”  
“Yes…I am. But I need you.”  
“Are you sure this is what you want?”  
“Yes. Please. I might cry, but I want you. I need you. Please, love.”  
“I think you’re pushing yourself, Veronica.”  
“Probably. But that’s kind of my thing. Please Juice…Please.”  
“Fine. My beautiful badass. First, we shower. Then we’ll make love, but you are going to take the lead, and you will stop if it’s too much for you.”  
“I accept this.”

He steps back from me and grabs the soap.  
“I can wash myself, you know.”  
“Yes. But if you can’t handle my hands on you long enough to wash your body, then you are not ready for sex.”  
“Fine.”

He slowly and gently washes my body, making sure to not miss any spots. Aside from a few moments of panic early on, it feels just like it always does, just…love. When he’s done and he’s washed my hair, we get out and dry off. 

He picks me up and carries me into the bedroom, kissing me, before laying me down on the bed and climbing between my legs.  
“Are you okay my love?”  
“Yes. Please, Juice.”

He runs his tongue along me before gently lapping at my clit. He’s not using enough pressure to get me off, and after a while, I start getting annoyed, but then he slides two fingers into me and slowly pumps them, adding more pressure to my clit as he does. It takes me a while to orgasm, and when I do, it's with a whimper, but what he’s doing doesn’t hurt and I don’t panic. After I orgasm he pulls away from me and says:  
“You still want to do this?”  
“Yes.”  
He lies down next to me and says:  
“Well then, I think you know what to do.”

I climb on top of him and kiss him as I slowly sink down onto his cock. I whimper as he bottoms out, and I take a moment to get used to him.  
“Baby, you’re shaking.”  
“You feel so good.”  
“No pain?”  
“No. You got me wet enough beforehand…Even though it felt like you were trying to torture me.”  
“I’m not sure that form of torture would be effective.”  
“Oh, it would be.”  
“I’ll keep that in mind for the next time you keep something from me.”  
“Jerk.”

I lean in to kiss him again, wrapping my arms around his neck before pulling him up so he’s sitting. He wraps his arms around my waist and I slowly move against him, kissing him the whole time. It’s slow and gentle and takes a long time, but we both orgasm together, and he says:  
“Are you okay?”  
“Blissful. Next time, can you fuck me hard and fast? I can handle it, love.”  
“Can you?”  
“It’s you, Juice. Yes. I can handle it because I love you. I’m not afraid you’re going to hurt me.”  
“I love you. I’m with Jax on this…We will find the people who did this and kill them.”  
“Good.”  
“Good?”  
“Yeah. You can’t expect me to want to show those assholes mercy.”  
“I didn’t expect a sheriff’s daughter to be okay with her boyfriend killing people.”  
“Ex-sheriff…Also, I’m an old lady now. May as well embrace it.”  
“Marry me.”  
“Ask again when my contract with Luann is up.”  
“Will you say yes then?”  
“Maybe. But it had better be a romantic proposal.”  
“Okay.”

Three weeks later, CaraCara is back up and running. I’m sitting in the studio with Juice and Chibs watching Lyla shoot a scene, and the two idiots I’m with stand and applaud after Luann calls cut. She looks at me and I roll my eyes. She says:  
“You’re good to film later, right?”  
“Yup. All healed.”  
“Can I see? I just don’t want any surprises. Can we do a film test?”  
“Lyla can touch me without me freaking out, Luann.”  
“What about Lyla and Ima?”  
“Right, forgot…it’s a three-way. It’ll be fine, but we can do a film test if you want.”  
“I want. And I’m sure the gentlemen wouldn’t mind. Go get ready.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

I walk into the dressing room area and say:  
“Luann wants us to do a film test.”  
Ima says:  
“All three of us?”  
“Yeah. She just wants to make sure I’m healed enough for the camera and that I don’t panic when you touch me.”  
“Fair. Well then, I guess we’d better get naked.”

Lyla walks in and I say:  
“We have to do a film test.”  
“Woo, naked.”  
Ima and I start laughing and we all strip, piling our clothes neatly before walking back out to Luann. As we walk out, Juice and Chibs sit up straighter and watch us intently.  
“You have seen us all naked before, boys. This isn’t a new experience. Hell, Juice…I was naked and in your bed not three hours ago.”  
“Yeah, but I always enjoy watching you work.”  
“No, you don’t.”  
“Okay…let me rephrase. I always enjoy watching you work with the girls.”  
Chibs shrugs and says:  
“I just enjoy watching you work.”

I start laughing and Juice punches Chibs in the arm. Luann says:  
“Boys. If you can’t behave, you’ll have to leave.”  
They both say:  
“We’ll be good.”

We do our film test, and it goes fine. No issues whatsoever. But as we’re getting re-dressed, Bobby shows up and tells Luann he’s going to be handling CaraCara’s books. Luann loses her shit, and Chibs calls Jax before he and Juice leave.

When Jax gets there he has Tara with him, and then Gemma and Clay show up. Gemma and Clay have a huge blow-up fight and Gemma starts crying. Tara and I both go to her and wrap our arms around her. Jax makes eye contact with me and I nod, so he goes inside to deal with Luann. 

Later that afternoon when we’re done filming, Jax shows up to take Ima home. I pull him aside when she’s getting dressed and say:  
“Georgie hasn’t been harassing her. Don’t buy into her shit, Jackson.”  
“What’s her endgame?”  
“She wants you, darlin’. You need to set her straight, or I will. I won’t let her hurt Tara.”  
“Why so protective?”  
“She’s the only one out of the old ladies who consistently tells me I’m not a whore. She took care of me and your mom, and she has stepped up in a big way with Abel. Do not let Ima hurt her.”  
“Okay. What about you? Do you need a ride home?”  
“No. I’m sticking around to write a paper before the wrap party tonight. I’m serious about Ima.”

He grins and gently kisses me before saying:  
“Yeah, I know. I’ll set her straight.”  
“Good. You’re coming to the party tonight, right?”  
“Yes. Of course.”  
“Bring Tara.”  
“I don’t know, darlin’.”  
“I’m sorry, did that sound like a suggestion?”  
“Bossy.”  
“Duh.”  
“How does Juice put up with you on a daily basis?”  
“Lots and lots of sex.”  
“Even now?”  
“Yeah. Of course. I wasn’t about to let those assholes take that away from me.”  
“Juicy Boy’s that good huh?”  
“Fucking spectacular.”

Ima walks over then and glares at me as Jax kisses me again before saying:  
“I’ll see you tonight, love.”  
“Yeah.”

At the party, I walk over to the bar to get myself a drink and overhear a bit of a conversation between Jax and Opie about Opie doing dangerous shit, and as I’m walking away I run my hand over Opie’s shoulders and squeeze when he looks at me. I bend down and whisper in his ear:  
“Stay alive. Ellie and Kenny need you alive. Donna would want you alive.”  
“And you? Do you care if I’m alive?”  
“You are one of my best friends when you aren’t being an ass. Yes. I need you alive. Stop being an idiot.”

As I’m talking to him, Tara walks in and Ima gets in her face. I look at Jax and say:  
“Nicely done…I see you set her straight. Moron.”  
I shake my head and walk over so I’m behind Ima. Ima tells Tara to get out and another girl backs her up, but I say:  
“Ima…Remember the conversation we had about club old ladies?”  
“Yes.”  
“You remember how I punched you in the face?”  
“Yes.”  
“Tara is Jax’s old lady. Back the fuck off.”  
“She gonna punch me?”  
“No. She’s a surgeon. Her hands are needed. I will punch you.”  
“No, you won’t.”  
“Wanna bet?”

Tara walks off, and Ima says:  
“You’d better run, you little skank.”

I grab Ima’s arm and say:  
“Seriously…What the fuck is your problem? There are plenty of single men in Charming. You don’t need Jax.”  
“But I want him. And what I want, I get.”

When she walks away, I go back over to Opie and sit in the chair Jax vacated.  
“How are you, Ope? Really.”  
“Not great. I’m throwing myself into the club because I don’t want to be home. Can you spend time with the kids? They miss you.”  
“I miss them too…Yeah. You guys have a charity ride coming up, right?”  
“Yeah.”  
“You on the gun relay?”  
“He’s telling you everything, huh?”  
“No truth, no pussy. It’s a hard line.”  
“Yeah. I’m riding.”  
“You leaving the kids with Mary?”  
“That’s the plan.”  
“How about I stay with them instead? It’s semester break and Luann can film around me for a couple of days.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah.”

He reaches over and takes my hand before saying:  
“Can you forgive me for what I said? I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you on purpose.”  
“Yeah. I can forgive you, but can you let go of me please?”  
“I’m just holding your hand.”  
“I don’t like to be touched…At least not currently.”  
“Veronica…What happened?”  
“Nothing we’re going to talk about.”  
“What? The truthfulness doesn’t go both ways?”  
“It does…With Juice. This isn’t something I want people to know.”

Jax and Tara walk up then and Jax looks at my face and pulls me out of my seat, wrapping his arms around me before whispering:  
“Are you okay, darlin’?”  
I’m crying now, and I say:  
“No. I need to go home. Apparently, I’m peopled out for the day.”  
“What did he do?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Veronica.”  
“Honestly, nothing. We were having a conversation and he held my hand…I just…don’t like to be touched.”  
“By men.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Except me and Juice?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Why me?”  
“I have no fucking clue. I’m gonna go home.”  
“Juice has been drinking. How are you going to get home?”  
“I’ll walk. It’s not far.”  
“The hell you will.”

I step out of his arms and say:  
“Don’t start with me, Jax. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m a grown woman with a concealed carry permit and a piece on me right now. I’ll be fine.”  
“Why are you so difficult?”  
“You’ve been asking me that since the night we met, Jax.”  
“Yeah…Still haven’t gotten a satisfactory answer.”  
“Aww…Muffin.”

Before he can say anything, my phone rings. When I see who it is I sigh before answering.  
“You shouldn’t be calling me.”  
“I miss you.”  
“Well…You and a bunch of your friends tried to kill my guys. You shouldn’t be calling me.”  
“I wasn’t there.”  
“Does that matter? You knew it was happening and you didn’t tell me.”  
“I couldn’t. Marcus specifically said not to.”  
“Yeah, I’m not exactly thrilled with him either. Bobby got shot.”  
“I’m just surprised Opie didn’t. What the hell was he thinking?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“He walked out in the middle of everything. No cover. He’s insane.”  
“He did what?!”  
“Oh…The boys didn’t tell you that, huh?”  
“Jesus Christ…Eli, don’t call me again until SAMCRO and the Mayans are playing nicely. I love you, but right now we are not friends.” 

I hang up and look at Opie before shaking my head.  
“I know, I’m an idiot.”  
“With a fucking death wish, apparently.”  
“Not anymore. I’ll behave. I promise.”  
“Yeah, okay.”

Tara says:  
“I’ll take you home, Ronnie.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah. If you don’t mind coming to our house.”  
“Not at all. Let me just let Juice know that I’m leaving.”  
“Yeah. I’ll meet you out front.”


	5. Five

A couple of weeks later, a van with a bomb in it is taken to Teller-Morrow. Chibs ends up in the hospital, and the other guys want to retaliate. Juice goes with the majority of the club, but Jax…He teams up with Hale to try to find Zobelle and Weston first. They both tell me their plans and I tell them both to stay alive. I’m not sure who is going about things the right way.

I spend the majority of the day at the hospital waiting for news on Chibs with Gemma. When we go to leave, Tara asks if she can come with us. Gemma tells her we’ll wait downstairs, and on our way out, we’re stopped by Hale. He tells us that Unser told him what happened to us, and Gemma snaps at him and walks away. As I follow her I reach out and squeeze his arm briefly before saying:  
“Gemma, breathe. It’s okay.”  
Hale says:  
“We all know this thing with Chibs was Zobelle. Give me something, any detail you can remember.”  
“Why are you suddenly so interested in helping us?”  
“I became a cop. Doesn’t mean I don’t give a shit about people I grew up with.”  
“You want to hurt this guy?”  
“Yeah. I do.”  
Gemma doesn’t say anything, so I say:  
“The girl who took us…She was cute, blonde, nice rack. Maybe my age? The guys all wore masks.”  
“Thank you. And I am sorry.”

As he walks out, I follow him and quietly say:  
“Keep Jax alive…Please?”  
“Shouldn’t you be more worried about Juice?”  
“He’s at the shop right now…That’s not usually a dangerous place. Jax is going against the club working with you. I understand why he’s doing it, but…Just keep him alive, Hale.”  
“I’ll do my best.”  
“Thank you.”

When we get to Gemma’s house, Tara looks at Gemma’s gun and Gemma says:  
“You still have the one I gave you?”  
“No.”  
“Wait here.”  
She goes and gets her boxes of guns, giving Tara one. She looks at me and says:  
“What about you, baby?”  
I open my jacket to show my holster as I say:  
“I’m always carrying. I’m a licensed, registered owner with a concealed carry permit. It’s the only reason I keep my PI licence active.”  
“Good girl.”

Gemma grabs her keys again and says:  
“Let’s go.”  
“Where?”

We end up at CaraCara to give Tara shooting lessons. Ima pulls in and Tara points the gun at her, spinning the chamber as Ima runs away. We all chuckle and Tara says:  
“That was fun.”  
Gemma says:  
“You’re gonna love this.”  
Then they both start shooting at Ima’s car. I just stand back and watch, because honestly? I warned Ima about fucking with Tara…She just didn’t listen.

When we’re done there, Tara gets notified that Chibs’s bleeding has stopped and I go to the hospital to sit with him. I’m still there later that night when I get a phone call from Opie.  
“What’s wrong, Ope?”  
“Shit went wrong. Everyone but me got arrested. They walked into a room full of civilians with guns.”  
“Everyone? Jax was working with Hale today.”  
“He was there tonight. Where are you?”  
“With Chibs.”  
“I’ll come meet you there.”  
I hang up and say to the unconscious man in front of me:  
“Well, this is a fine mess we’re in. I could use your wisdom right now, Chibs, so you being unconscious is very inconvenient.”

When Opie gets to the hospital he’s limping.  
“What the hell happened to you?”  
“Hit a parked car, got thrown over the handlebars.”  
“Show me.”  
He rolls his eyes, but takes off his jacket and shirt, turning around so I can see the bruise forming on his back. I gently run my fingers over it and say:  
“Does anything feel broken?”  
“No. At least, I don’t think so. You want to run your hands over me some more and check?”  
“Ha ha ha ha. No.”  
“Come on, love. I’ll take you home.”  
“I don’t know if I can trust your riding.”  
He turns around and smirks before grabbing me and pulling me against himself. He says:  
“Baby, my riding is just fine.”  
“Let me go, Ope.”  
“Still not okay with being touched? What happened?”  
“The car accident wasn’t a car accident. Can we please just leave it at that?”  
“How many, Veronica?”  
“Three. Repeatedly. For hours.”  
“Jesus Christ. I’ll fucking kill them.”  
“Jax and Juice said the same thing.”  
“When did they find out?”  
“Juice suspected right away. He had seen my reaction to being raped before. Figured it out from the way I was moving and holding myself. Jax knew something was up the next night when he tried to hold my hand and I cried.”  
“Who else knows?”  
“Tara, Lyla, Luann, Unser, and Hale…and I’m pretty sure Juice told Chibs.”  
He puts his shirt and jacket back on as he says:  
“Come on, sweetheart. I’ll take you home.”

When we get to the house, I get off the bike and he gently pulls me towards him and kisses me.  
“I’m sorry that you were hurt by someone trying to hurt the club. I’m sorry that you’re having to go through this. But you know that I would never hurt you, right? You don’t have to be afraid of me touching you.”  
“I know. Go home to your kids, Ope. I know you’ve been sleeping in the apartment. Stop. Ellie and Kenny need you. Go home.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
I softly kiss him and say:  
“Goodnight, baby.”  
“Goodnight, Ronnie.”

The next morning Gemma, Tara, and I are at the clubhouse discussing the case with the lawyer. They have no court date and their bail is set ridiculously high. 

We’re still at the shop when Mary brings Ellie and Kenny and leaves them with Opie. I walk over to them when I see them and Kenny launches himself at me, saying:  
“Ronnie! Can we go home with you?”  
“I don’t know, munchkin. Let me talk to your Dad, okay?”  
I put him down and say:  
“Why don’t you guys go wait in the office? I’ll be right there.”  
They walk off, and I look at Opie.  
“What do you want to do, babe?”  
“Can you take them?”

The cell rings and he walks off to answer it. When he comes back he says:  
“Clay has an errand for me.”  
Gemma says from behind me:  
“We’ll take the kids to Jax’s. Pick them up there later.”  
“Thanks.”

As he walks away, I follow him.  
“What’s the errand, Ope?”  
“Helping them get protection inside.”  
“Be safe. You don’t have any protection out here.”  
“If I don’t make it back by dinner, take the kids to Pop.”  
“Nah. They can hang out with us. I’ll let you know if I take them home or to my house.”  
“I love you.”  
“Yeah, you do…You moron. Come home to us, Opie. We need you alive.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

After Opie leaves we take the kids to Jax’s. While we’re sitting in the living room, I get a call from Lyla.  
“Hey, babe.”  
“Can I trust Opie?”  
“Why?”  
“He needs me to call Angus. Says it’s for the club.”  
“If that’s what he’s telling you, it’s legit. Do it, love. And don’t ask questions.”  
“Okay. He wants to talk to you.”  
The phone gets passed over and I say:  
“You could have just asked me. I have a dealer that doesn’t require blowjobs upon delivery.”  
“Why the hell do you have a dealer?”  
“I phrased that incorrectly…I know a dealer. He owes me a favour. I kept him out of prison for rape. Next time, come to me. I have many, many connections. Angus is an asshole. Make sure he doesn’t bother Lyla again. I’ll set her up with Troy when she needs more.”  
“Did he commit the rape you kept him out of prison for?”  
“No. If he had, I would have clapped while they cuffed him. He’s an ex, and a moron, but not a rapist.”  
“Don’t know how I feel about you socializing with your exes.”  
“Don’t know if you really get a say in it. Get my old man his protection inside, Ope.”  
“Yeah. I’m working on it.”

I hang up and look at Gemma and roll my eyes. She says:  
“I’m going to go see Elliott to try to get the bail.”  
“Okay.”  
“I’ll take Abel. Are you good with the other kids?”  
“Yeah. I can handle Abel too if you want to leave him here.”  
“No, baby. It’s okay. I’ll be back in a bit.”

The kids and I spend the next couple of hours playing crazy eights, and then they decide to play go fish, so I start working on some homework. By the time Gemma and Tara get back, it’s basically dinnertime, so we feed the kids dinner.

Not long after dinner, Lyla knocks on the door. Tara answers it with Gemma standing behind her. Lyla says:  
“I’m here to get Opie’s kids. Take them to get dinner with my kid and me.”  
“We already fed them dinner.”  
“Oh, well…I’ll take them anyways. Opie sent me.”  
“Well, he shouldn’t have.”

I step forward and say:  
“Tara…She’s not Ima, don’t bite off her head. Lyla, let Opie know the kids are at home with me, but that he should come to talk to Tara before picking them up.”  
Lyla says:  
“Why are you siding with her?”  
“I’m not, love. I’m doing what I told Ope I would earlier. I have no doubt in your ability to take care of these kids, but they know us. I babysat them for a year before their Mom died. They’re okay with me.”  
“Fine.”  
She turns around and leaves, and Tara shuts the door. She looks at me and says:  
“Is he out of his goddamned mind?”  
“She’s a good person, Tara.”  
“She does porn!”  
“So do I! With her! Give her a fucking chance.”  
“You’re family. She’s not.”  
“Yet. Opie decided to trust her with his kids. He’s gonna end up dating her. She’s gonna be an old lady. You are going to need to get over your shit.”  
“He’s in love with you!”  
“I’m never leaving Juice, and he knows it. I guarantee you, he’s going to end up dating Lyla. Get used to the idea.”

Gemma says:  
“Veronica’s not wrong, baby.”

I go into the kitchen and say:  
“Ellie, Kenny, get your stuff. We’re going to go to my house until Daddy comes to get you, okay?”  
“Yes, Ronnie.”

As the kids and I are leaving, I kiss Tara’s cheek and say:  
“Be gentle with him when he comes to see you, okay? He’s having a tough time…He doesn’t trust himself with the kids.”  
“Yeah…Okay. I’ll be nice.”  
“Good.”

Once the kids and I are at my house, we play some more cards, then they each shower before putting on pyjamas they had here from the last time they slept over. I tuck them into bed in the spare room, then change into my pyjamas and curl up on the couch with a book. That’s where I am hours later when Opie finally shows up. He leans over the back of the couch and kisses me before saying:  
“Thank you for defending Lyla. Thank you for looking after the kids. Where are they?”  
“Asleep in the spare room. They’ll be out until morning.”  
“Can I stay? I’ll sleep on the couch.”  
“You can sleep in the bed as long as you promise to stay fully dressed.”  
“I promise I will stay fully dressed as long as you want me to.”  
“I’m not fucking you, Ope.”  
“I know.”  
“I love Juice.”  
“I know.”  
“I’m not leaving him, or cheating on him.”  
“I know, Veronica. I went by my place, all of Mary’s shit is gone.”  
“You’re not alone, Ope.”  
“Yes, I am.”  
“No, you moron. You aren’t. You are surrounded by a family that fucking adores you. You just need to let us love you.”  
“I’d be happy to let you love me.”  
“Why do you do that? Make sexual comments at me like that?”  
“I don’t know…because I want you?”  
“Maybe you should take the bed. I’ll sleep out here. The couch is too short for you.”  
“No. I’m sorry, Veronica. I will keep my thoughts and my hands to myself. I promise. Come to bed.”  
“Yeah. Okay.”

I put my book down and follow him into the bedroom after locking the front door. I’m asleep very quickly, but I wake up a few hours later with tears on my face, and someone kissing me. I push him away and say:  
“Why the kissing?”  
“You were having a nightmare. I tried to wake you up other ways. They didn’t work.”  
“I’m almost afraid to ask what the next step was going to be.”  
“Yeah, I don’t know baby. What was the nightmare about?”  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
“What was it about?”  
“It wasn’t a nightmare. Just a bad memory in dream form.”  
“About?”  
“Angelica…The baby I lost when I was seventeen.”  
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. What can I do?”  
“Just hold me. Please.”

He pulls me into his arms and I lay my head on his chest. I fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat in my ear and don’t wake up again until morning. When I wake up I’m alone in bed but I hear voices in the living room. I grin and get clean clothes out of the dresser before walking into the bathroom to shower. I close the door but don’t lock it since the kids are old enough that they don’t just barge in anymore. 

I’m in the shower, washing my hair when I feel him behind me. I say:  
“Ope, you need to go.”  
“Just let me love you. Juice would be fine with this.”  
“No, he wouldn’t.”  
I turn around to face him and he looks so sad. I put my hand on his face and say:  
“What’s wrong, Ope?”  
“I haven’t been in the shower with anyone since Donna.”  
“You shouldn’t have gotten in.”  
“I know you want me, Veronica.”  
“Do I? Really? Because Juice is fantastic and I’ve been in love with him since I was sixteen.”

He leans in and kisses me, groaning as I kiss him back. When we pull apart I say:  
“Get out of my shower, Opie. I promised Juice I wouldn’t fuck anyone but him.”  
“Okay. Your phone rang while you were still sleeping. The guys made bail. Juice is at St. Thomas’s.”  
“Seriously? You didn’t think to share this information?”  
“I was hoping I could convince you to fuck me.”  
“Nope.”


	6. Six

After I finish in the shower and get dressed I go to the hospital. I’m sitting next to Juice’s bed holding his hand when he wakes up.  
“Hi, baby.”  
“You got stabbed.”  
“Yes. I did.”  
“What were you idiots thinking? Jax was working with Hale. Why couldn’t you just let that play out?”  
“Because the president calls the shots.”  
“Jax is trying to protect the club while keeping as many of you alive as possible. Trust him. Vote with him. Follow his lead.”  
“How did Hale know where Zobelle was going to be?”  
“Zobelle’s daughter. The same bitch that knocked Gemma and me out and delivered us to those monsters…I’m pretty sure one of them was Weston. I thought I recognized his voice.”

He shifts in his bed and says:  
“Come here, baby.”  
“You have two cracked ribs thanks to that punch from Tig, which you still need to explain by the way…I want the whole story, Juice. And you got stabbed twice in the back. I’m not climbing into bed with you.”  
“Veronica, get your adorable ass in this bed.”  
“Bossy.”

I take off my shoes and carefully climb onto the bed with him, curling into his arms, my head tucked under his chin. As he holds me I start to cry.  
“Shhh…I’m right here, baby. Everything’s okay.”  
“But it almost wasn’t. You were in prison and I almost lost you. I told you, I need you to stay alive.”  
“And I did. Veronica…I’m right here. I am not planning on leaving you anytime soon, sweetheart.”

My phone rings and it’s Gemma, so I answer.  
“Hi, Gemma.”  
“Hi, baby. We’re going to do a family dinner tonight. Can you come over this afternoon to help cook?”  
“Yeah, but I don’t think I’ll stay for dinner.”  
“Family dinner, sweetheart.”  
“My family is lying in a hospital bed because he stabbed in the back…literally.”  
“We are all your family. Ope and the kids need you here. I need you here.”  
“I’m a little annoyed at Opie right now, not sure I want to be near him.”  
“What did he do?”  
“Let himself into my shower this morning. Tried to convince me to fuck him.”  
“Tara’s right, he’s lost his goddamned mind. Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine. He annoyed me, he didn’t hurt me.”  
“And you didn’t…”  
“No. Of course, I didn’t. Jesus Christ, Gemma.”  
“Just thought I’d ask the question. I’ll see you this afternoon, right?”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
I hang up and look at Juice.

“Family dinner…The queen demands my presence.”  
“And Opie?”  
“He kissed me. I kicked him out of the shower. Reminded him, again, that I will not fuck him.”  
“After my trial, when I’m in prison for a long time, the prison clause is going to kick in. Meaning you can fuck club members. I’m asking you not to…I want to know that you’re still mine.”  
“I have no intention of fucking anyone but you.”  
“I love you. Can you go check on Chibs?”  
“Yeah.”

I get up and go to Chibs’s room. There’s an Irish woman sitting in the chair next to his bed, and she says:  
“Who are you?”  
“Veronica. You?”  
“Fiona. His wife.”  
“Ah…The famous mystery wife. I’m Juice’s old lady. He sent me to check on Chibs.”  
“He’s sleeping.”  
“I see that.”

I walk over to the side of the bed and slide my hand into Chibs’s and put my other hand on his cheek. When he opens his eyes he smiles and says:  
“Hi, darlin’.”  
“Hi, yourself. You scared the shit out of us, Chibs.”  
“Oh, don’t cry, sweetheart. I’ll be fine. I’m a tough old bastard.”  
“Ya, you are.”  
“Where’s Juicy Boy?”  
“In his very own room down the hall. He sent me to check on you.”  
“What happened?”  
“Stabbed in the back in County. He’ll be fine, don’t stress. They missed all the important bits.”  
“You have work today, love?”  
“Cancelled. CaraCara got broken into. Luann didn’t want me there. She thinks I distract Jax.”  
“You do. Ever since that first night he met you, all he wants to do is protect you.”  
“Despite me constantly saying that I don’t need him to…Yeah.”  
“He doesn’t listen well.”  
“Go back to sleep, Chibs.”  
“Yeah, okay love.”

I lean over and kiss his cheek before leaving the room. I go back to Juice’s room and climb back into bed with him before saying:  
“Chibs is doing better. He woke up and talked to me. His wife is here.”  
“Shit. Fiona’s here? That means Jimmy’s in town.”  
“Does your reaction mean I should be scared of Jimmy?”  
“Yes. Don’t be near him. He’s insane.”  
“I’ll do my best.”

I lie there with him for a while, just listening to him breathe, until my phone rings.  
“Hale?”  
“Veronica…I wanted to be the one to tell you…Luann has been murdered.”  
“What?!”  
“We just found her body. I’m sorry.”  
“Shit. Thanks for telling me.”  
I hang up and say:  
“I need to go to CaraCara. Luann is dead. I need to tear up my contract and the file she has on me. I don’t want anyone else getting their paws on it.”  
“Go, babe.”  
“I probably won’t be back today.”  
“It’s okay. I’m okay. Go.”  
“I love you. So much.”  
“I love you. Marry me?”  
“Not a very romantic proposal, Juice.”  
“I know. But I don’t want to wait anymore.”

I kiss him, pouring all of my love for him into it, and whisper against his mouth:  
“Yes.”  
“Yes?”  
“Yes. But we don’t tell anyone until you are out of this hospital. We announce it to everyone at once, together. Okay?”  
“Okay. I love you.”  
“I love you too…idiot.”

As I’m leaving the hospital, Gemma calls.  
“Hi, Gemma.”  
“You on your way, baby?”  
“Yup. I’ll be right there.”  
As I hang up I mutter to myself:  
“I guess I’ll get my file tomorrow.”

I’m at Gemma’s house for the rest of the day, helping to prep dinner. When Tara gets there she yells at Gemma about interfering with her job, then when Lyla walks in Tara says:  
“Serving hand jobs for dessert?”  
Both Lyla and Tara storm off. I look at Gemma and then go after Lyla. When I find her, I wrap my arms around her and say:  
“She doesn’t mean it. I know she seems like a cold-hearted bitch, but she isn’t…not really. Like the rest of us, she lashes out when she’s upset. Come back inside love.”  
“I don’t want to be near her.”  
“I know. But honestly? When the other old ladies and even the crow eaters were calling me porn whore and other things when Juice and I first got together, Tara defended me. She made me feel loved. I think she just needs some time. She’ll come around. Until she does, you have me…I’m in your corner babe.”

As we’re talking Opie, Jax, and Bobby ride up. Opie walks over and says:  
“What’s the matter?”  
“I’m sick of taking abuse. That doctor is an arrogant bitch.”  
I say:  
“Tara’s being a bit…harsh. Come back inside, Lyla.”  
“No.”  
“She’s all yours Ope. Maybe you can convince her to stay.”

I step away from Lyla, moving towards Jax, out of Opie’s reach. When I get to Jax I wrap my arm around his waist and he wraps his around my shoulders. He whispers in my ear:  
“What’s up with you and Opie?”  
“He let himself into my shower this morning. Tried to convince me to fuck him.”  
“Was he successful?”  
“No. He wasn’t…I don’t want to be alone with him.”  
“Are you scared? Opie wouldn’t hurt you, baby.”  
“Mr. Overly Protective? I’m asking you to protect me here.”  
“So you won’t fight me on it?”  
“No.”  
“Excellent. You’re sleeping at our house tonight.”  
“Okay. Your couch is comfortable.”  
“Let’s go have dinner with Mom.”

Once all the guys get inside they start fighting about their day. As this is going on, Hale walks in. He walks up behind me and rubs my back as he passes me before he says:  
“Excuse me. I thought I should tell you this in person. Luann Delaney was killed earlier today. She was beaten to death. I have no further details right now.”

On his way back out he stops and quietly says:  
“Being an old lady isn’t safe, Veronica.”  
“Life isn’t safe, David. Fewer people have tried to kill me since I became an old lady than did when I was in high school.”  
“Let me know if you decide you want out.”  
“If I want out, I know how to disappear, David.”  
“Okay. Take care of yourself.”  
“Always.”

The guys start fighting again, and Gemma smashes a plate to get them to stop. I sneak out during the chaos and head home. 

I’m lying in bed, almost asleep when there’s a banging on the door. I get up and open the door, leaving the screen door locked.  
“What?”  
“You fucking disappeared! Luann was murdered today and you just fucking disappeared.”  
“Georgie killed Luann. He’s not going to kill me.”  
“Let me in.”  
“Go home, Jax.”  
“Let me in, Veronica.”  
“I’m good. Thanks.”  
“Stop being so fucking difficult!”  
“Goodnight, Jax.”  
I close the door and lock it before going back to bed. There’s silence and then the sound of breaking glass and the patio door being opened.

When he walks into the bedroom I say:  
“Have you lost your goddamn mind?”  
“Zobelle had you raped and beaten. Luann was beaten to death today. I’m not leaving you alone.”  
“Where’s Tara?”  
“At home.”  
“Alone?”  
“No. Half-Sack is with her.”  
“Why didn’t you send Kip here if you were worried about me being alone? Or Tig, or Bobby, or Happy? I would have let any of them in.”  
“Why not me?”  
“None of them yell at me.”  
“I was worried about you!”  
“Why?”  
“I got Luann killed! I got Luann killed. It’s my fault.”  
“Oh, Jax…No, it’s not.”

I get up and walk over to him before wrapping my arms around him and rubbing his back.  
“It is not your fault. Georgie is a fucking psychopath.”  
“I screwed up and now Luann is dead.”  
I step back and put my hand on his face.  
“Jackson, listen to me. Georgie was always going to go this route. He was always going to end up killing someone.”  
“No. It’s my fault.”  
“It’s not, love. You were helping Ope. You were trying to protect Lyla.”  
“I was trying to protect you! I was afraid that after he was done tormenting Lyla that he’d come after you.”  
“Why are you so worried about protecting me? I’m a big girl, Jax. I can take care of myself.”  
“You’re tiny and fragile.”  
“Like hell I am. I have been taking care of myself for a long fucking time, Jax.”  
“You don’t have to anymore. You have us. You have me. Let me protect you. Stop fighting me all the damn time.”  
“Every time I trust someone else to protect me, I end up hurt. So, I think I’ll just stick with protecting myself, thanks.”  
“Why are you so stubborn?”

I shrug and walk away from him when there’s a knock on the door. When I open the door, I sigh and unlock the screen door, wrapping the man in front of me in a hug when he comes in.  
“Hey, Supafly.”  
“Hi, Papa Bear.”  
I grin at the person behind him and say:  
“Hey, Piz.”  
“Hey, Veronica…Veronica’s slightly scary friend.”

I laugh and say:  
“Wallace, Piz…This is Jax. Jax, this is my best friend since age seventeen Wallace, and Wallace’s roommate Piz.”  
Piz says:  
“Also, Veronica’s ex. Nice attempt at distancing, Veronica.”

I turn and look at Jax once I’ve released Wallace from the hug and say:  
“Go home. If you think I need someone here, send Kip.”  
“Veronica.”  
“Jackson. Go home to your old lady and son. I’m fine.”  
“I’m not leaving you alone with your ex.”  
“Bah. Piz is the only legitimately decent guy I’ve ever dated besides Juice. There’s nothing to worry about. Besides, Wallace is here.”  
“I’m calling Tig.”  
“Just send Kip.”  
“He’s just a prospect. It’s Tig or me.”  
“Tig, then.”  
“Fine. Are you going to work tomorrow?”  
“No. I’m done. My deal was with Luann and she’s dead. I’m out.”  
“We need the income, Veronica.”  
“I had quit. I came back for Luann, not the club. I’m done.”  
“Veronica. You are our top earner.”  
“I am done! I will not go in front of a camera again, and you can’t make me.”  
“Why?”  
“I am still recovering from being raped, in case you’ve forgotten. Also, I was done. Juice and I were trying to have a baby when I went back to work for Luann. I want a baby, Jax. I want to not be ashamed of how I make my living. I want the guys to stop looking at me like a piece of meat. I want the fucking crow-eaters to stop judging me for being a whore. I want to stop having to be nice to Ima when all I want to do is break her fucking face. I AM DONE!”  
“You’re healed.”  
“I have nightmares every goddamn night, Jax. I can smell them, I can hear Gemma crying, I can feel myself tearing, I can hear Weston’s voice…Every goddamn night.”  
“I will kill them for hurting you.”  
“Yeah, well…Y’all tried that…You all ended up in County and Juice got used as bait and then he got stabbed. Now he’s in the hospital. How about we just let Hale handle it?”  
“You trust Hale more than me?”  
“I didn’t say that.”  
“Then why would you just let Hale handle it?”  
“Because Zobelle is outplaying you! He is using the law against you and you all are responding with fucking violence.”  
“That’s not my call!”  
“No. I know that. I know it’s Clay, but Jesus Christ, Jax. Chibs almost died, Juice could have died, you could have died…If Weston’s kid’s gun hadn’t been out of bullets you would have died. He would have killed you.”  
“I know.”  
“So let Hale handle it. It’s his job.”  
“It’s my job!”  
“No. It’s not.”  
“So what’s my job then, baby?”  
“You are a mechanic and a porn producer. Stick with that…Bikes and whores.”  
“CaraCara will shut down if we lose you. You know that.”  
“No, it won’t. You’ll be fine. Go home.”

He pulls his phone out and dials a number.  
“I need you to come to Juice’s.”  
…  
“No. I don’t want Veronica to be alone, but she’s being fucking difficult.”  
…  
“I gave her the choice of me or you, brother. She chose you. She doesn’t want me here.”  
…  
“I may have broken in when she wouldn’t let me in.”  
…  
“Alright, alright. Enough. Just get your ass over here.”  
He hangs up and says:  
“I will go home, but you will update me tomorrow with where you are going and when.”  
“Ha ha ha…No. I won’t.”  
“What is your plan for tomorrow?”  
“Visit Juice, visit Chibs, probably get yelled at by your Mother.”  
“Probably. You did leave family dinner.”  
“I didn’t want to go in the fucking first place.”  
“Call Tara tomorrow. Help her through this Lyla bullshit.”  
“The problem is Tara, not Lyla.”  
“Yeah, babe. I get that.”  
“I’ll talk to her at the hospital tomorrow.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Jax?”  
“Yeah.”  
“What did you mean when you yelled at Clay about killing women?”  
He leans over and kisses my cheek.  
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow in private, okay?”  
“Was Donna our mistake?”  
“Tomorrow, Veronica.”  
“Did a club member kill my friend while trying to kill Opie?”  
“Tomorrow, Veronica!”  
“Answer the fucking question! Was Donna a club mistake?!”

From the door I hear:  
“Yes. I thought it was Opie driving the truck. They traded at the last minute after I left. I didn’t realize it was her until afterward.”  
“Stahl said he was a rat, didn’t she?”  
“Yeah.”

I look at Jax and say:  
“I know that knowing this is eating you up, but you can’t do that. You can’t blurt shit like that out at family dinner in front of Opie and the kids!”  
“Opie deserves to know.”  
“If Opie finds out he will try to kill Clay.”  
“I know.”  
“It’ll tear the club apart, Jax.”  
“It already is.”  
“Because you’re letting it.”  
“So it’s my fault?”  
“Jax…That’s not what I said.”  
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Veronica. Tig, you are not to let her out of your sight.”

Tig nods and says:  
“I do understand guard duty, Jax. Go home to Tara.”

Jax walks out and Tig says:  
“Jesus Christ. He’s exhausting.”  
“Welcome to my life.”

I point at the three guys currently in my living room and say:  
“Wallace, Piz, Tig. Sit down, guys.”

I look at Wallace and say:  
“Why are you here, Papa Bear? Not that I don’t love seeing you…”  
“Piz discovered that his ex-girlfriend with whom he has a non-sex sex tape is now a porn star. He thought we should come to visit.”  
“Ex-porn star. I just quit.”  
“Nah. That’s not why we’re here. We just missed you, Supafly.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah…Oh, and our parents are dating again.”  
“Again? Seriously?”  
“Yeah…They seem pretty serious this time.”  
“Aww…But we’re too old for bunk beds now.”  
“We were too old for bunk beds the first time around.”  
“Valid point.”  
“Can I come with you to see Juice tomorrow?”  
“Of course. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”  
“Any chance you guys have a spare bed or two?”  
“The spare room has two twin beds in it. Normally the only people to sleep in there are Opie’s kids, so…Enjoy the stuffed animals.”

I look at Tig and say:  
“You sleeping on the couch or on the bed with me?”  
“That’s an option?”  
“As long as you stay fully dressed and on your side of the bed, yeah. The couch is super uncomfortable.”  
“Bed it is.”

I lock the front door and we all go to bed.


	7. Seven

A couple of weeks later, I’m sitting next to Juice’s hospital bed when Jax and Bobby come in. Bobby says:  
“Veronica, give us a minute?”  
I go to stand up, but both Jax and Juice say:  
“She can stay.”  
Juice asks about CaraCara, and Jax puts his hand on my shoulder before saying:  
“You’re going to need to proxy a vote.”  
“For?”  
“I’m asking for transfer…Nomad.”

I say:  
“You’re doing what?!”  
“Shh…darlin’.”

Juice says:  
“Guess it’s been coming for a while.”  
“Yeah.”  
“This charter is your family.”  
“I’ll let you give your vote to Bobby…Veronica, come with me.”

I get up and follow Jax out of the room. Once we’re in the hall I turn to him and say:  
“Nomad? Are you fucking insane?”  
“I can’t deal with Clay anymore.”  
“There has to be a better fucking solution, Jax. If you go Nomad…you have no family, no home. You’re out there unprotected!”  
“I’ll be fine, love.”  
“So…when your Mom decides to come clean about what happened to us in order to make you stay?”  
“She won’t.”  
“She will. I guarantee it.”  
“How do you know that?”  
“She’ll do whatever it takes to keep her family together. You have to act like you didn’t know.”  
“Yeah. Okay. Come to the clubhouse for the vote. Be there for after.”  
“Why? I’m not needed there.”  
“Veronica…please.”  
“Fine.”  
“Thank you.”  
He kisses my forehead as Bobby comes out of Juice’s room and they walk off. I go back into Juice’s room and sit with him until it’s time to leave for the clubhouse. 

On my way there, I call Hale.  
“Veronica?”  
“I know you are very proud of the fact that you are not owned by the club, but I need you to protect them. Help them.”  
“Why?”  
“I have a feeling Gemma is going to tell them what happened to us.”  
“Yeah, okay. I’ll help if I can.”  
“Thank you.”  
I hang up as I pull into the lot at Teller-Morrow. 

I’m standing with Tara when Jax comes out without his patches. I shake my head and mutter:  
“Jesus fuck.”

Tara suggests that they go away for a few days, and then Gemma walks up and says:  
“Meet me at my house…all three of you.”  
I say:  
“I’m not really required for this.”  
“Veronica. Meet me at my house.”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Fine.”  
She walks away and Jax looks at me.  
“Don’t give me that look. I fucking told you she would do this.”  
I walk away, and by the time Jax and Tara get to Gemma’s house, I’m standing outside. We all go inside and Tara makes coffee. She’s pouring it when Gemma and Clay walk in. 

Gemma tells everyone to sit and pulls me with her so I’m sitting at the table next to her. She holds my hand and whispers:  
“I’m sorry, baby. I don’t have a choice.”  
I pull my hand out of hers and cross my arms before saying:  
“Whatever you say, Gemma.”

She starts to tell them what happened to us…in detail. By the time she’s done, Jax is angry, because although he already knew, I never told him details. He looks at me and says:  
“She got a message. What did they say to you?”  
“That I wasn’t supposed to be there. That if I hadn’t been with her I would have been safe, but that they were enjoying the porn star pussy.”  
Tara looks at me with tears in her eyes, and I shake my head.

Jax comes over and kisses Gemma’s hands, and then puts his hand on Clay’s shoulder. I get up and leave the house. I make it to my car before I sink to the ground against the tire and pull my knees up to my chest and cry.

I hear footsteps, and then Jax is in front of me, crouching down.  
“Don’t touch me. Just go home, Jax.”  
“Veronica.”  
“Don’t touch me.”  
“Come to our house. I don’t want you to be alone.”  
“I won’t be. I’m not going home…Well, I’m going home, just not to my house in Charming.”  
“What? You’re leaving?”  
“Just for a couple of days. I need my Dad.”  
“You’re going now? It’s a four and a half-hour drive.”  
“I’ll be fine.”  
“Veronica, at least leave in the morning.”  
“No. I’m going now.”  
“No. Get some sleep first.”  
“Jax…I don’t know how many times I need to say this to you. I am a grown woman and can make decisions for myself. Leave me the fuck alone.”  
I get in the car and drive away. 

By the time I get to Dad’s, it’s two in the morning, so I quietly let myself in and lie down on the couch. I pull my phone out and see a bunch of messages from Jax. I ignore them all and send Tara a message saying:  
‘I’m at my Dad’s.’

The next evening, I get text messages from all the guys.   
From Opie:  
‘Clay just told the guys what happened to you…is this why you left town?’  
From Tig:  
‘Sweetheart…why didn’t you tell us?’  
From Bobby:  
‘I’m so sorry, love.’  
From Chibs:  
‘I’m here if you want to talk, darlin’.’  
From Half-Sack:  
‘Want me to take the guys’ phones away so they can’t text you anymore?’  
From Jax:  
‘Come home, Veronica.’

Then I start getting messages from the women too.  
From Gemma:  
‘I’m sorry, Veronica. I know you didn’t want them to know. But they are your family.’  
From Lyla:  
‘Gemma told them, huh? You okay?’  
From Tara:  
‘Come home.’

I ignore all the messages, then Juice calls the house.  
“Hi.”  
“Why do you answer like you know it’s me?”  
“It is you. You’re home?"  
“Yeah. I got home from the hospital and my old lady isn’t here. I didn’t know you were going to see your Dad, and you didn’t leave a note. Why aren’t you answering messages?”  
“I’m sorry, babe. I thought you’d be there for another few days. If I had known, I would have stayed home. And I’m not answering messages because I don’t want to talk to anyone.”  
“Are you coming home soon?”  
“I’m driving home tomorrow, but I’d appreciate it if people weren’t notified of that. I don’t want to see anyone.”  
“They are our family.”  
“I don’t fucking care. I didn’t want them to know! Hell, Dad and Alicia still don’t know about Cassidy. Why would I want the club to know about this?”  
“Your Dad doesn’t know about Cassidy? What? How is that even possible?”  
“I didn’t want him to know! So he doesn’t. I didn’t get any say about this though. Gemma used what happened to us to make Jax stay. And then Clay told the club. I didn’t get any say. It happened to me, and I had no control over who knows it.”  
“But Jax already knew.”  
“I didn’t tell him any details. Gemma told him everything.”  
“You didn’t tell me any details either.”  
“How many details do you want? They chained us to a wall, ripped our clothes off and took turns repeatedly raping us for hours and then left us there. I don’t want to think about it.”  
“Come home tonight.”  
“I can’t. I’m going for coffee with Clarence.”  
“Why?”  
“Good question. I have no idea. He called and asked if we could meet.”  
“So you’re leaving in the morning?”  
“Yes.”  
“I love you, Veronica.”  
“I love you too. I have to go, I’m going to be late to meet Clarence.”  
I hang up and leave the house to meet Clarence.


	8. Eight

When Clarence walks into the coffee shop, he sits down and hands me an envelope. I hold it and say:  
“What is this?”  
“Open it.”  
“Not sure I want to.”  
“It’s not a live snake, Miss Mars. Open the envelope.”

I open the envelope and pull out a certified cheque from Kane Software for ten million dollars.  
“Why?”  
“New management. He got wind of what Jake was trying to get you to agree to and thought he should compensate you for the years of trauma.”  
“Who?”  
“Duncan.”  
“Duncan’s home?”  
“Yes.”  
“But…”  
“It’s been handled. The kidnapping charges have been dropped. As far as the world is concerned, Duncan Kane always had custody of his daughter.”  
“Good. But why does Duncan think I need this much? I wouldn’t say anything about it.”  
“He knows. Take the money, Veronica.”  
“Okay.”  
“I know that look. What do you want to know?”  
“How do you know Piney?”  
“It’s a long story.”  
“Code for ‘I don’t want to tell you’. Fine.”  
“On that note…This bag is for the club.”  
He pushes a duffel bag towards me.  
“What is it?”  
“Five million dollars. Duncan wanted to make sure you weren’t convinced to give the club your money. How they are always so damn poor, I do not know.”  
“Right? I ask this all the time.”

He hands me a manila envelope and says:  
“That’s for you. Stop wasting your talent.”  
I open it and see an employment contract.  
“You want me to work for you?”  
“I want you to stop wasting your potential. Stop denying who you are. An investigator is who you are.”  
“Clarence…”  
“Take it home with you and look it over. Courier it back to me once you’ve signed it.”  
“You’re so sure I’ll say yes?”  
“Yup. Go back to Charming tonight, Veronica.”  
“I’m going back in the morning.”  
“Now, Veronica.”  
“Okay. I’ll leave now.”

I quickly call Dad to let him know I’m headed back to Charming and then lug the very heavy bag out to the car. 

Just under five hours later, I’m pulling into the lot at Teller-Morrow. Half-Sack is walking through the lot when I get out of the car, so I say:  
“Kip. Help me with this. It’s heavy.”  
I shove my envelopes in my purse while Kip picks up the duffle bag.  
“Where am I taking this?”  
“Clubhouse. It’s a gift for the club.”  
“Is it a body? It’s really heavy.”  
“No. It’s not a body.”

We walk into the clubhouse and the guys are walking into chapel. Kip says:  
“Should I take it in there?”  
“Yeah. The old ladies and crow eaters don’t need to know about it.”

He walks into chapel and puts the bag on the table. I stand in the doorway and say:  
“A gift…From an old friend. Kip, open the bag.”  
He unzips it and all the guys say:  
“Holy shit.”  
Clay says:  
“How much is it?”  
“Five million.”  
“Why?”  
“The gift giver didn’t want my bank account to become an emergency slush fund for you constantly broke boys. He gave me this too.”

I drop the envelope with the cheque in it on the table and Juice grabs it.  
“Holy shit…Ten million…from Kane Software? You saw Jake?!”  
“No. Jake has been dethroned. New management sent the money to compensate me for all the years I had to put up with Jake offering me money to fuck him.”  
“Celeste?”  
“Duncan.”  
“Duncan Kane is back?!”  
“Yup. Kidnapping charges have been dropped…which I guess, means that I’m off the hook for my part in kidnapping Faith too…yay.”

Jax looks at me when I say that and says:  
“I’m sorry…your part?”  
“What part of that sentence needs clarification? I helped my ex-boyfriend kidnap his newborn daughter. And then I helped him flee the country. Using the local sheriff as an unwitting pawn…he was pissed about that.”  
“I feel like there’s more to this story.”  
“Of course there is. It was a month-long operation. Every piece had to be in place perfectly. But…I’m kind of a criminal mastermind. Not that anyone around here appreciates that.”

Juice smirks as the other guys look unsure about what I just said.   
“That money is an emergency fund. Save it.”

I pick up my cheque and turn to walk away. Clay says:  
“Stay. We’re about to discuss what to do about Zobelle.”  
“Don’t do anything. He’ll be expecting retaliation. It’ll be a trap. Be smart about this. I’m not staying, I have an employment contract to look over.”

Juice says:  
“From Duncan?”  
“Clarence. He told me to stop wasting my talent and to stop denying who I am.”  
“Didn’t you antagonize Clarence when we were in high school and he was the head of security at Kane Software?”  
I shrug and say:  
“He sent my Mom surveillance pictures of me with targets over my face to get rid of her. I retaliated by taking pictures of him…at work, with his wife, with his kids. I sent them to him at work anonymously. Made him panic a bit. Then he bugged my room to see how much I knew about Lilly’s murder, so I bugged his office to confirm my suspicions about the payout to Koontz. We ended up working together to figure out who killed Koontz’s daughter Amelia though.”

Piney laughs and says:  
“You’re the tiny pain in the ass! I didn’t realize…That’s funny.”  
“He complained about me?”  
“Frequently. He was impressed…which is saying something, considering he’s ex-Mossad. For him to be impressed by a teenager is saying something…You’re the one who solved the Kane girl’s murder, even after Clarence iced the body and changed the time of death.”  
“Yeah…Solving her murder caused the death of my daughter though, so…while I loved Lilly, and I wanted to solve her murder…the cost was too high.”  
“If you could go back and redo that night?”  
“I would have waited with Duncan at the Kane house until my Dad got there rather than thinking I was safe to drive the ten minutes home.”  
“What happened during the ten-minute drive?”  
“Lilly’s murderer — Aaron Echolls — was in my backseat. I was wearing a seatbelt, he wasn’t and he had a knife to my throat, so I hit a telephone pole. He hit the dash and was unconscious. I grabbed the tapes he wanted and ran for the nearest house. The guy inside wouldn’t let me in, so I threw the tapes on the roof and tried to hide. Aaron got in the house and knocked the guy out then came out to the deck and found me. He beat me up and knocked me out. When I woke up I was locked in a chest freezer with a walkie-talkie — which he found in my car — he asked for the tapes…I eventually told him that they were on the roof. By that point, he had lit the deck on fire. The freezer was filling with smoke and getting hot when I heard my dad calling for me. I started screaming for him and then I heard fighting. Aaron eventually left, thinking he had hurt Dad enough. Dad got me out of the freezer and I dragged him out of the fire. By the time the ambulances got there, Dad was unconscious and I was bleeding and having contractions. I was 25 weeks pregnant…Angelica was delivered stillborn a few hours later. Then I was sent home, alone, because if the baby isn’t alive, they don’t see a reason to keep the mother in the hospital.”  
“You were seventeen, right, sweetheart?”  
“Yes.”

Juice says:  
“When you were sent home alone, did you call Alicia or my mom?”  
“No. I went to bed and got woken up a few hours later by Logan. He had been jumped by the PCHers and knocked out. When he woke up, he had a bloody knife in his hand and Felix was lying next to him, dead. Shortly after he got there, Leo showed up to arrest him for Felix’s murder.”  
“And you jumped straight into helping him, didn’t you?”  
“No, actually. I was there for him, but the next couple of months were mostly spent crying in bed and being force-fed by our mothers. They wouldn’t leave me alone. They were afraid I was going to kill myself.”

Tig says:  
“Would you have?”  
“Definitely thought about it, but my Dad reminded me that Veronica Mars is a badass action figure, and badass action figures don’t quit.”

Opie says:  
“Did you figure out Felix’s murder too?”  
“Weevil, Logan, and I did…yeah. Once those two idiots stopped with the war tactics against each other and decided to play nicely. While we were working on Felix’s murder I was also trying to solve the bus explosion and crash that killed a bunch of kids, and helping Duncan kidnap Faith. It was a busy senior year.”

Juice says:  
“You solved the Cassidy thing too.”  
“All three Cassidy things…When he raped me at Shelly’s party, him causing the bus crash, and him murdering the stunt coordinator who was found with my name on his hand…so annoying.”  
“Cassidy’s an ass.”  
“Cassidy’s dead.”  
“How?”  
“He jumped off the roof of the Neptune Grand on graduation night when I confronted him.”

Chibs says:  
“I’m almost scared to ask what happened in your first year of university.”  
“Oh…Nothing much…Solved the dean’s murder, solved the murder of the dean’s wife, uncovered a ring of students who were making fake student IDs — which work as money — they set Weevil up to take the fall, solved a robbery, helped an accused murderer flee the country because he didn’t murder anyone, and solved a serial rape case.”  
“And you had time to go to classes?”  
“And maintained a 4.0 GPA, and got an internship to the FBI, and maintained relationships…First with Logan, then with Piz….Oh, I also uncovered a secret society, but they didn’t like that.”  
“How did you uncover a secret society?”  
“It’s their own fault. They were filming my friend Wallace’s room because they wanted to recruit him, and they accidentally got a non-sex sex tape of me and Piz. One of the idiots released it online…Drew my ire. I had no choice, I had to figure out who they were.”

Jax says:  
“I’m sorry…I need a judge’s ruling here…a non-sex sex tape?”  
“We were naked, but not having sex. We never actually had sex when we dated.”  
“How many?”  
“How many what, Jackson?”  
“How many people have you slept with? Personally, not professionally.”  
“That’s none of your business, and now I’m leaving.”


	9. Nine

I walk out of the clubhouse and go home. I’m sitting at the kitchen table reading the employment contract when Juice gets home. He walks up behind me and puts his hand on my chin to tip my head up before kissing me.  
“Hey, babe.”  
“Clarence offering something good?”  
“It looks okay. How are you feeling?”  
“Excellent.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah…Come to bed, Veronica.”  
“Gladly.”

As we’re lying in bed, naked and wrapped around each other, I say:  
“I found something out yesterday morning.”  
“What, baby?”  
“I’m pregnant.”  
“Really?”

I roll my eyes and say:  
“No, I’m lying to you.”  
“How long?”  
“Five to six weeks.”  
“When are we going to tell people?”  
“Not yet. I’d like to get through the first trimester…so… another six weeks or so.”  
“Okay.”  
“I need you to stay alive, Juice. I can’t do this on my own. I need you.”  
“I’m not going anywhere, Veronica.”  
“You promise?”  
“As best I can, sweetheart…But you know I’m going to prison.”  
“I can handle you being in prison. I can’t handle you being dead.”  
“When are we going to tell everyone about our engagement?”  
“When do you want to?”  
“Tomorrow? Everyone will be at the clubhouse for lockdown.”  
“Lockdown?”  
“To protect the families while we go to war.”  
“If you die on me, I swear to God, I will resurrect you to kick your ass.”  
“Noted. You’ll behave during the lockdown, right? Help Gemma?”  
“Obviously.”

He kisses me and says:  
“Can we celebrate the pregnancy now?”  
“How would you like to celebrate?”  
“Oh, I have a few ideas…”  
“Oh, yeah? Why don’t you show me?”

He growls and rolls us so he’s on top of me before he kisses me again. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me, deepening the kiss as I do. He starts kissing along my jaw and down my neck. I moan and say:  
“I love you, so much. Why can’t we just take this money from Duncan and leave? You can go back to being Norris…We can leave Charming, leave the club. There’s no need for us to stay, for me to almost lose you, or to actually lose you.”  
“Veronica…We can’t. We can’t leave our family.”  
“I just have this feeling that I’m going to lose you…not tomorrow, or soon, but I feel like I am going to end up raising our children without you. I can’t…Juice, I can’t lose you again.”

I start to cry and he puts his hand on my cheek and says:   
“Shhh…My love. I’m not going anywhere. I will do anything, absolutely anything, to stay with you.”  
“If we are going to stay, you need to tell me absolutely everything. Every detail and you need to listen to me. You have to trust that I can help to keep you alive. And after this next stint in prison, you need to not go back inside. Do you understand me? I can’t keep you safe inside. I can’t help.”  
“Okay…Okay, baby.”  
“You promise me, Juice. Promise.”  
“I promise. I’ll tell you everything. I’ll listen.”  
“Good…Good.”

I press my face into his neck and he says:  
“Just for the record, my darling…This is not celebrating.”  
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just so worried about losing you.”  
“Cautious, not anxious babe. We can do everything we can, but I can’t handle you being worried all the time. I can’t watch this tear you apart.”  
“So you want me to live in the moment and not be scared that I’m going to lose you?”  
“Yes. That’s what I want.”  
“I’ll do my best.”  
“Promise me.”  
“I promise.”  
“Good. Now let’s start living in the moment.”  
He lifts one of my legs onto his shoulder and I gasp as he slides into me.

Afterwards, I curl into his side with my head on his chest.  
“Go to sleep, baby. We have to be at the clubhouse early.”  
“Why can’t I just stay home? I know how to protect myself.”  
“Uh…remember earlier when you agreed that you would cooperate with lockdown? You actually going to the clubhouse for lockdown is part of cooperating.”  
“Fine.”

The next morning we collect our things and ride to the clubhouse together. When we get there, Gemma tasks me with cleaning the bathrooms and changing the sheets on the bed in the apartment. As I’m doing my chores, the rest of the guys show up and the families start trickling in.

When I eventually walk back out to the main room, Jax grabs my arm and says:  
“You look like you’re going to be sick. Are you okay?”  
“Just the smell of the bleach. I’ll be fine.”  
He just looks at me like he doesn’t believe me, so I say:  
“Lots of people are sensitive to the smell of bleach, Jax. This is not unusual.”

Juice walks up and pulls me away from Jax. I wrap my arms around him and press my face into his chest, breathing deeply.  
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”  
“Just nauseous. The bleach smell made it worse. I’ll be fine.”  
“You want to make our announcement?”  
“Sure.”  
He grabs my hand and slides a ring on my finger as he says:  
“You should probably be wearing your ring during the announcement.”  
“Juice…It’s beautiful.”  
“I’m glad you like it…It’s like a month’s salary.”  
“I didn’t need a ring…You know that, right?”  
“Oh, I know.”

We stand over by the bar and he whistles to get everyone’s attention. He speaks loudly enough for everyone to hear him, and says:  
“We know today is stressful for everyone, having to be here instead of out living your lives, so we thought we’d start the day with a bit of news…Veronica and I are engaged.”  
Everyone claps and the boys all whistle and hoot when Juice kisses me, then we get hugs from everyone. When Jax wraps me in his arms he whispers:  
“How long ago?”  
“Before Luann died.”  
“You could have told me.”  
“Why? Would it have affected the way you acted?”  
“No.”  
“Well then, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”  
“I guess not.”

Clay makes a speech about how we’re all here because we’re important to the club, and then the guys go to leave. Gemma, Tara, Lyla, and I follow them outside and I squeeze Opie’s hand and Jax’s hand on my way to hug Juice.  
“You stay alive. You understand me?”  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
He kisses me and walks away. Tara and I wrap our arms around Gemma and I wrap my other arm around Lyla. We watch them ride away and then go back inside to tend to the masses.

Lockdown is relatively uneventful. When the guys get back they have obviously been in a fight. Juice’s face and knuckles are cut up and bruised, but they all appear to be intact. 

The next day, I’m at Jax’s house with Tara, Kip, and Abel when Cameron Hayes walks in. He’s talking about how Gemma killed his son, and he needs to get revenge. He kills Kip and reaches for Abel, saying:  
“A son for a son.”  
I step between him and Abel and say:  
“Cameron…Take me. Leave the baby with his mother. I’m a pregnant old lady. Take me instead.”  
“That will hurt them…I’ve seen how fond they are of you. Will you cooperate?”  
“Yes. I’ll come with you willingly. Just don’t hurt Tara and Abel.”  
“Fine. Come with me then.”


	10. Ten

I hug Tara and whisper:  
“Call Clarence. His number is on my phone. Tell Juice I love him. Don’t let them come after me.”

Cameron drags me out of the house and opens the passenger door of his car. I get in and buckle up. When he gets in I say:  
“So where are we going?”  
“Belfast.”  
“Gonna need passports for that.”  
“No shit.”

Two days after we leave Charming, we arrive in Belfast. He takes me to the house of his cousin Maureen. She’s fairly decent to me while I’m there, allowing me free roam of the apartment, but I’m not allowed to leave or use the phone. One night the phone rang and Maureen came to talk to me after.  
“Well, they found you faster than I thought they would. Charming is coming to Belfast.”  
“No. I told Tara not to let them come…goddamn it.”  
“I’ve found it’s difficult to convince bikers to do anything. When they get here, I’m going to let them take you. I want them gone as soon as possible.”  
“Because you don’t want Trinity to find out that John Teller was her father?”  
“How did you…?”  
“I figured it out. I’m a private investigator. This is what I do. You need to tell Trinity because Jackson Teller is coming…He’s very pretty and will try to fuck her if they don’t know they are brother and sister.”  
“Bit of a man whore, huh?”  
“Understatement of the century.”

We’re both quiet for a minute, then I say:  
“Don’t give him the letters, Maureen.”  
“He should know his father.”  
“Jax is a good man…but knowing everything about John might throw him. Please. Just leave the past in the past.”  
“You think he’s a good man?”  
“One of the best I’ve ever met. Everything he does is to protect the people he loves. Hell, the first night I met him he went out of his way to make sure I was safe and protected, even while I was antagonistic towards him and extremely uncooperative.”  
“He’s a criminal.”  
“That doesn’t affect whether he’s a good man or not Maureen.”  
“Okay…I trust your judgement. I will leave the past in the past.”  
“Thank you.”

Two days later I’m in the kitchen making tea when Maureen walks in with the guys. I hug them all before kissing Juice.  
“You idiots. You weren’t supposed to come. That’s why I told Tara to call Clarence.”

Jax says:  
“Clarence found you. But we needed to come to get you.”  
“No, you didn’t, you morons. Aside from Opie, you’re all out on bail right now. Leaving the country is generally not acceptable!”  
“We weren’t about to leave you here!”  
“Clarence could have come to get me. It’s kind of what he does. And don’t yell at me, Jackson.”  
“Why did you tell Cameron to take you?”  
“Because I wasn’t going to stand there and let him take Abel.”  
“Why didn’t you shoot him?”  
“I didn’t have a clean shot. He was holding that bloody knife of his against Abel. I couldn’t risk it. I had just watched him kill Kip. I couldn’t risk him hurting Abel.”

Opie says:  
“Why would you put yourself in danger to protect Abel?”  
“Because he’s a child. I would have done the same thing for Ellie or Kenny.”  
“Tara didn’t.”  
“Tara was frozen. She’s a doctor and she hasn’t had people trying to kill her her whole life. I’ve been kidnapped before…taken at gunpoint before. Hell, Clarence did it once…And an undercover ATF agent.”

Juice says:  
“Ben took you at gunpoint?”  
“Oh, yeah. That’s how I found out he was ATF and he was going after you for the bomb threats. Logan saved me…Did I forget to mention that?”  
“Uh…yeah, babe. You did.”  
“Oh, well…You were arrested the next day and then broke up with me the day after that, so it must have slipped my mind!”

Bobby says:  
“Tara says you told Cameron you were a pregnant old lady…That’s what convinced him to take you instead of the baby. Were you lying?”  
“No.”

Maureen says:  
“She’s definitely pregnant…the morning sickness has been kicking her ass.”  
“I don’t understand why it’s called morning sickness when it makes me miserable all fucking day.”  
“A man must have named it.”  
I laugh and say:  
“Yeah, probably.”

Clay says:  
“Insensitive question…”  
“The baby is Juice’s. I was tested and given plan B after the rape, and since then Juice is the only guy I’ve had sex with…despite the attempts of others.”  
“Not even at work?”  
“I’ve been strictly girl-on-girl since the rape…So unless Lyla or Ima have suddenly developed the ability to impregnate someone, the baby is Juice’s.”

Jax says:  
“What others?”  
“A certain club member who shall remain nameless let himself into my shower the morning of the day Luann died…remember?”  
“Oh yes…I forgot about that.”

Opie grumbles:  
“I said I was sorry.”  
“Actually, no. You didn’t.”

Chibs smacks the back of Opie’s head and says:  
“You idiot.”  
Opie shrugs and says:  
“It was worth a shot.”

Maureen says:  
“Come on, I’ll take you all to the crash pad. You too, darlin’.”

She shows us to the apartment and as she’s leaving she says:  
“There will be a club party tonight to welcome you all to Belfast. Play nice and keep that girl away from the Belfast boys. She irritates them and they aren’t afraid to smack a woman around.”

Once she leaves, Jax grabs me and sits on the couch with me in his lap.  
“Thank you for protecting my son.”  
“He’s just a baby. I didn’t trust Cameron not to hurt him.”  
“Did he hurt you?”  
“Nothing I can’t handle.”  
“Veronica…”  
“It doesn’t matter, Jax.”  
“Yes, it does. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”  
He kisses my cheek and I say:  
“By the way…I saw the way you were looking at Trinity. She’s off-limits. At least to you.”  
“Why?”  
“She’s your sister.”  
“JT’s her dad?”  
“Yup. Maureen was planning on telling her. I don’t know if she got around to it, so I thought I should tell you before you end up in Tig territory.”  
“Thank you for that.”  
“No problem. Now, let me up.”

I get up and walk across the room before curling up in Juice’s lap and pressing my face into his neck.   
“When are we going home?”  
“We have some things we have to handle while we’re here.”  
“Ah. Rescuing me was not the sole purpose of this trip. I understand. Can I use your phone?”  
“Yeah.”

He hands me his phone and I call Clarence.  
“Juice?”  
“No. It’s me. Where are you?”  
“Belfast. You ready to go home, sweetheart?”  
“Yes. The guys apparently have things they need to do here, but I have class and doctor’s appointments and stuff. I can’t be in fucking Belfast.”  
“The Kane Software plane is waiting at the airport.”  
“I don’t have my passport.”  
“I have it. I’ll come to get you. Are you still at Maureen Ashby’s?”  
“No…the club crash pad.”  
“I’ll be there tomorrow morning.”  
“You’re the best. Thanks, boss.”  
I hang up and pass the phone back to Juice.

He pulls me tighter into him and kisses the top of my head.  
“You’re going home?”  
“Yeah…babe, I’m sick. I don’t want to be in this shitty apartment. How did you all get here anyway?”  
“Cargo plane…Elliott’s. That’s how we’re getting home too. I guess you and Clarence are flying commercially?”  
I laugh and say:  
“No. We’re flying home on the Kane Software private jet. Clarence doesn’t fly commercial.”  
“…Private jet? You get to fly home on a private jet?”  
“Such is the life when an employee of Clarence Wiedman. He has contacts that make life…easier.”  
“Jesus fuck.”  
“To be fair though, I could probably use the Kane Software jet without Clarence since my ex-boyfriend runs the company now.”  
“Yeah…probably.”  
“So, what else do you guys need to handle while you’re here?”  
“We need Jimmy.”  
“Oh…That’s easy. Leave me alone in the apartment and let Keith know I am. Jimmy’s been trying to get me alone the whole time I’ve been here, and Keith is deep in Jimmy’s pocket. Jimmy will show up here. Easy peasy.”  
“Why has Jimmy been trying to get you alone?”  
“Oh…I may have pissed him off. He said something I didn’t like about Kerryanne. I may have mouthed off to him. Father Kellan was in the apartment when it happened, he stopped Jimmy from hurting me.”  
“Stupid girl.”  
“Yeah, well…He was being awful about a child that he is raising. A child that isn’t his. A child he stole from someone I love. It pissed me off.”

Chibs walks over and kisses my cheek.  
“Thank you, my darlin’.”  
“You guys should go to the party. Casually mention to Keith that I’m still here because I wasn’t feeling well.”  
“We are not leaving you alone to deal with Jimmy.”  
“Not suggesting you do.”

I hold my hand out again and Juice puts his phone in it. I call Clarence again.  
“Darling girl. What do you want?”  
“Who did you bring with you?”  
“What makes you think I brought anyone?”  
“Clarence. Don’t play games. Who is with you?”  
“Logan.”  
“You brought Logan? Echolls? Naval Lieutenant Echolls?”  
“Yes. It was supposed to be a surprise.”  
“That’s extremely convenient.”  
“What do you need?”  
“Help to trap an asshole.”  
“We’ll be right there.”  
“Thank you.”

I hang up and hand the phone back to Juice. I shrug and say:  
“That’ll work.”  
“Can Logan handle Jimmy?”  
“Yeah.”  
“You’re sure? Jimmy is…insane.”  
“Hello? We’re talking about Logan Echolls here…Psychotic Jackass?”  
“Also your ex-boyfriend. Multiple times if I recall.”  
“Why was I able to date Logan? Let me think…Was it because the love of my life broke my heart and fucking disappeared? Maybe stop it with the fucking judgement.”  
“Sorry.”

Clay says:  
“So what’s the plan?”  
“You guys go to the party. Make sure people know I’m here alone. Jimmy will show up. Clarence, Logan, and I will take out Jimmy’s bodyguard and secure Jimmy. By the time you get back from the party, it’ll be handled.”  
“Are you sure it’ll work?”  
“Yeah.”

There’s a knock on the door and I get up to answer it. When I open it, Clarence is in front. I hug him and say:  
“Thanks, CW.”  
“No problem, kid.”

He walks in and I see Logan standing on the porch. He smiles and says:  
“Veronica.”  
“Logan. It’s good to see your face.”   
“Yeah, I’m pretty fond of yours too.”

I pull him into the apartment and hug him before turning around and saying:  
“Everyone, Clarence and Logan. Clarence and Logan, everyone.”

I fill Clarence and Logan in on the plan and they both nod. Logan says:  
“We can handle that.”

Juice scoffs and says:  
“Of course you think you can. You always were overly confident. I remember knocking you on your ass.”  
I say:  
“Juice, my love…Don’t be an ass.”  
Logan says:  
“Wait…Norris?”  
“It’s Juice now, Lo.”  
“You’re back with him? After how he left you?”  
“Yes. That was a long time ago, Lo.”  
“Well…Juice…That wasn’t exactly a fight. I was talking to Veronica and you punched me in the face.”

Juice stands up and says:  
“You implied that she was a whore. You deserved to get punched in the face.”

I walk over and stand in front of Juice, putting my hand on his chest.  
“Stop, love. It was high school. It’s over. Let it go. Logan is here to help us.”  
“I don’t like him being near you.”  
“Juice…Who am I marrying?”  
“Me.”  
“Whose child am I carrying?”  
“Mine.”  
“So, do you think you need to worry about Logan?”  
“I guess not.”  
“So stop this.”

He lowers his forehead to mine and says:  
“I’m sorry, love.”  
“I find it amusing that you are more upset about Logan being in the same room as me than you ever were about your brothers watching me at work, or Opie walking into my shower.”  
“I’m glad my discomfort is amusing to you.”  
“I love you, more than anything.”  
“I love you too…Be careful tonight, Veronica. Stay alive.”  
“Always. Badass action figure over here, remember?”


	11. Eleven

I kiss him and step out of his arms.  
“Go to the party, guys.”  
They all leave except for Jax.  
“Jackson, go to the party.”  
“We need to talk for a second…privately.”  
“No. Jax…I don’t need you to tell me, okay? I know.”  
“I don’t think you do.”

I shake my head and wrap my arms around myself before saying:  
“He fucked Lyla the night of Bobby’s party…while I was taken, beaten, and raped by multiple men for hours for being a club old lady, he was fucking one of my best friends…and I know he fucked Ima the night of the launch party. I don’t need you to tell me.”  
“How do you know?”  
“He told me about Lyla. He broke down crying after you left that day.”  
“And Ima?”  
“Oh…She told me that night. He tried to tell me, but I told him I already knew. I told him if it happens again, I’m done. I will leave and I won’t come back this time.”  
“Her broken nose?”  
“That may have been me.”  
“Using her car for target practice?”  
“No. That was all your mother and your old lady.”  
“Of course it was. You know those bitches killed a woman the other day? Tig freaking helped them get rid of the body.”

I laugh and say:  
“Of course they did. They’re both insane.”  
“They love you.”  
“Yeah, I’m pretty fucking fond of them too…Jax?”  
“Yeah, love?”  
“You know Tara’s pregnant, right?”  
“She is? How do you know?”  
“Been there, done that. I figured it out. Gemma did too.”  
“So she hasn’t told you?”  
“No. But I’m sure that’s why she froze up when Cameron was there.”  
“You’re pregnant too. You didn’t freeze up. You protected my son.”  
“Yeah, well…I’ve always been stupid and bullheaded.”

He softly kisses me and says:  
“Bloody difficult too.”  
“Go to the party, Jax.”  
“You trust these two to be able to protect you?”  
“Yes, Mr. Over Protective. I trust these two with my life. I’m fine. Go. If you cheat on Tara I will fucking castrate you.”  
“Noted…Third insane woman in my life.”

He kisses me again and leaves the apartment. Logan says:  
“He cheated on you and you’re staying with him?”  
“He’s the love of my life, Logan.”  
“And the blonde?”  
“Jax is a friend.”  
“He kisses you an awful lot for a friend.”  
“His mother is overly affectionate. She kisses everyone, all the time. I think Jax just picked it up. His old lady kisses me all the time too…So does his stepdad for that matter…And Opie…and Chibs…Tig…You know, I think they’re just an overly affectionate group.”

Logan walks over to me and puts his hand on my face before saying:  
“You couldn’t forgive me for sleeping with Madison while we were broken up, but you’ve forgiven him for literally cheating on you…twice?”  
“Again, he’s the love of my life, Logan. I have been head over heels in love with him since we were sixteen. I don’t know how to not love him. And now I’m pregnant…I can’t do this alone.”  
“Yes, you can. You are Veronica Mars. You can do anything.”  
“Are you seriously suggesting I leave him?”  
“I’m saying that overlooking him cheating on you doesn’t seem like you.”  
“You haven’t known me in a long time, Logan.”  
“You’re still you. Maybe hiding under the porn star and old lady personalities, but somewhere in there, Veronica Mars is waiting to come back out.”

Clarence says:  
“Someone is coming up the steps.”

He and Logan leave the main room, and when Jimmy walks in I’m sitting on the couch.  
“Hello, Veronica.”  
“Jimmy.”  
“They left you alone?”  
“I’m not feeling well…Morning sickness, you know?”  
“But Juice left? I would have thought he would have stayed with his pregnant fiancée.”  
“I told him to go. No sense in both of us sitting here bored.”  
“Well, you won’t be bored for long.”  
“I won’t?”  
“I don’t like little girls talking back.”  
“It’s a good thing I’m an adult woman then.”

Jimmy walks towards me, pulling a knife out as he does. When he’s almost to me, Logan runs out and tackles Jimmy, wrestling him to the ground. When Jimmy drops his knife, it’s covered in blood, but I can’t tell which one of them is injured. Clarence comes out and helps Logan get Jimmy in a chair and then cuffs him so he’s secured to the chair. Clarence says:  
“I’ll get the first aid kit.”

Logan takes off his shirt and I see a large gash on his abdomen. I sigh and say:  
“See if you can find some duct tape too so we don’t have to listen to Jimmy.”

I look at Logan and say:  
“Lie down on the floor. I’ll go wash my hands and then come sew you up.”

I leave the room to wash my hands and when I come back, Logan is lying on the floor and the first aid kit is next to him, open and ready to use. Clarence is taping Jimmy’s mouth shut. I straddle Logan to give me better access to his injury and say:  
“CW, can you come put my hair up for me? I should have done it before I washed my hands.”

He walks over and quickly braids my hair, securing it with a hair tie from his pocket.  
“Thanks. Can you let the guys know we have Jimmy? I need to stitch Logan up.”  
“Yup.”

I clean and disinfect the wound and the needle and thread before starting. As I’m putting the stitches in, Logan is lying there quietly. This is something we’ve done before, I’m as gentle as I can be, but I learned many years ago that Logan doesn’t tend to make noise when he’s hurt. My theory is that it’s a defence mechanism formed by years of abuse. 

When I’m about halfway done putting the stitches in the guys walk into the apartment. Chibs looks at me and says:  
“Nice stitches.”  
Logan says:  
“She has lots of practice. My dad was an abusive fuckwad. She ended up stitching me up lots when we were teenagers.”  
“At least I did before you declared me public enemy number one and became the psychotic jackass we all love to hate.”  
“Yeah…Until then.”

Juice looks at me and says:  
“Must you straddle him to do this?”  
“Yeah. It gives me the best access to the wound.”  
“I don’t like this.”  
“I don’t give a shit. Do I need to remind you that only one of us has cheated on the other and it wasn’t me? I’m not doing anything wrong.”

Opie says:  
“He cheated on you?”  
“Uh…yeah…Twice. At Bobby’s party and the launch party.”  
“And you still wouldn’t fuck me? Knowing he cheated on you?”  
“I keep my promises and I’m not a cheater. I know everyone likes to say I’m a whore, but I’m not actually.”

Logan rubs my leg as I continue the stitches. When I’m done I clean the area around the wound again and then stand up. I go wash my hands and when I come back out I say:  
“Clarence, can we leave tonight please?”  
“Yeah… I'll call the pilot.”  
“Thank you.”

Clay says:  
“Can we come with you?”  
Clarence says:  
“Do you have passports?”  
“No.”  
“Then no. Every passenger has to go through the usual customs checks.”  
“Veronica was kidnapped. She doesn’t have her passport.”  
“I have it. I went to the house and picked it up before I flew over.”

I look at him and say:  
“Veronica or Victoria?”  
“Victoria.”  
“Good. Thanks.”  
“Oh. I also grabbed this.”

He hands me my phone and I turn it on. I have a bunch of messages, I ignore them all except the ones from Eli:  
‘Why would you do that? Are you insane?’  
‘V…Please be okay. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.’  
‘Message me when you get your phone…better yet, call me.’

I look up and say:  
“Are the Mayans friends again?”  
Jax says:  
“Yes.”  
“Good.”

I dial Eli’s number and wait for him to answer.  
“Jesus Christ Mars. Took you long enough.”  
“Acabo de recuperar mi teléfono. Leí tus mensajes y te llamé. Ni siquiera he leído los mensajes de papá todavía. Siéntete amado, idiota.” (I just got my phone back. I read your messages and called you. I haven't even read dad's messages yet. Feel loved, you idiot.)  
“Why would you do that?”  
“No podía dejar que se llevara al bebé, Eli.” (I couldn’t let him take the baby, Eli.)  
“You really need to stop with this fucking hero complex you have.”  
“Está profundamente arraigado, Navarro. Culpa a papá.” (It’s deeply ingrained, Navarro. Blame Dad.)  
“Oh, I do blame the sheriff, don’t worry. I assume you’re standing in a room full of non-Spanish speakers.”  
“Si.” (Yes.)  
“V…Did they tell you about Hale?”  
“¿Qué hay de él?” (What about him?)  
“He was killed the night of Kip’s funeral.”  
“¿Qué?” (What?)  
“There was a drive-by…He stood in the street shooting at the driver. The guy didn’t even slow down. He was run over.”  
“¿Quién lo hizo?” (Who did it?)  
“The same assholes that jumped Juice and stole his cut.”  
“Entonces, ¿alguien asociado contigo?” (So, someone associated with you?)  
“Yeah…Not anymore.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
“Are you okay? I know you liked him.”  
“Era un buen policía y un buen hombre. Inusual para Charming.” (He was a good cop and a good man. Unusual for Charming.)  
“Are you okay?”  
“No no soy.” (No, I’m not.)  
“I love you, V. I’m sorry.”  
“Yo también te quiero.” (I love you too.)  
I hang up, throw my phone on the coffee table, and go in the bathroom to throw up. 

When I’m done, I rinse out my mouth and go back in the main room.  
“None of you thought I might want to know that Hale is dead?”  
Juice says:  
“He was just a cop.”  
“I am the daughter of a cop! I grew up around cops. Some of my favourite people in the world have been cops. The man who stood by my side and held my hand as I delivered our daughter was a cop. If it was Sacks who was killed that way, would you tell me he was just a cop?”  
“No. Of course not. I know how much you care about Sacks. You’ve known him your whole life.”  
“David was a good man who legitimately cared about us. The fact that none of you thought to mention it breaks my heart. This is someone who grew up with Jax and Opie. Just because he became a cop doesn’t mean he stopped caring about the people he grew up with. Jesus Christ.”

I look at the clock and do math in my head before picking up my phone and dialling Jacob Hale’s number.  
“Miss Mars. I heard you got kidnapped.”  
“I did. I just heard about David, Mr. Hale. I’m so sorry.”  
“Thank you, Veronica.”  
“Did I miss his funeral?”  
“It was today.”  
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. David was a good man.”  
“He had nothing but good things to say about you. Get out of Charming, Veronica. Get away from the club. Staying is going to lead to nothing but heartbreak.”  
“You’re probably right about that.”  
“But you aren’t going to listen, are you?”  
“I’m a pretty stubborn person, Mr. Hale.”  
“Tough too. Don’t let them break you.”  
“I won’t. Goodbye, Mr. Hale.”  
“Goodbye, Miss Mars.”

I hang up and put my phone in my pocket while I look at Clarence.  
“What did the pilot say?”  
“By the time we get to the airport, we’ll be ready to take off.”  
“Well, let’s go then.”

I hug all the guys and say:  
“Try to stay alive while you’re here, yeah?”  
Clay laughs and says:  
“We’ll do our best, baby.”

As I start to walk towards the door, Juice grabs me and turns me around.  
“I get the same generic goodbye as everyone else?”  
“Don’t die.”  
“Veronica.”  
“I love you. I’ll see you when you get home.”

I pull away from him and leave the apartment with Clarence and Logan.


	12. Twelve

Once we’re on the plane, I curl up in a chair and fall asleep. I sleep most of the way, waking up to eat only because Logan insists. When we land in San Francisco, there’s a car waiting for us. 

When we get to Teller-Morrow, I get out and Logan says:  
“If you decide you want to leave, I’m here for you Ronnie.”  
“I’m not going anywhere, but thanks, Lo.”

I close the door and turn around in time to be wrapped in a giant hug from Tig.  
“Hey, Tigger.”  
“Welcome home…we have an emergency.”  
“Don’t we always?”  
“Yeah…Tara’s been kidnapped. The guy wants us to kill Alvarez and steal money from his safe. Thanks to your ex, we have the money, but we have to convince Alvarez to play dead for a day so we can get Tara back.”  
“I can help with that. When are we going?”  
“Now. You wanna ride with me or Kozik?”  
“You.”  
“That’s what I said you’d say.”

When we get to Marcus’s house, I walk in front of the guys as we approach the door. As we approach, Marcus comes out with a shotgun. When he sees me, he puts it down and walks towards me before wrapping me in a hug.  
“My sweet girl. They finally got you back, huh?”  
“Yup. Belfast wasn’t so bad, actually. Pretty goddamn relaxing.”  
“Why did you bring SAMCRO to my house?”  
“Salazar told them where you live. He kidnapped Tara.”  
“The doctor? Teller’s old lady?”  
“Yes.”  
“What does Salazar want?”  
“You dead.”  
“So they’re here to kill me?”  
“No. We’re here to ask you to play dead for 24 hours so we can get Tara back.”  
“That won’t be good for business.”  
“Eli can hold down the fort and you know it. It’s just a day. Please, Marcus.”  
“For you. Because I know how much you care about Tara. 24 hours. That’s it.”  
“Thank you.”

I kiss his cheek and we turn around to leave. Marcus says:  
“Veronica…That’s two SAMCRO old ladies kidnapped in a short period of time. You aren’t safe with them. Go back to San Francisco.”  
“Yeah…I love you too, Marcus.”  
“Stubborn, pig-headed little girl.”  
I laugh and catch up with Tig and Kozik.

We’re back at the clubhouse for a while when the phone rings. Tig answers it and speaks to Salazar for a couple of minutes before passing the phone to me.  
“Is Tara okay?”  
“Yes. I want you to bring me my money.”  
“Fine. Where?”  
“The rest area with the willow trees between Charming and Lodi. Do you know it?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good girl. You bring me my money, I’ll bring the hostages.”  
“Hostages?”  
“They only told you about Tara, huh? I have her boss too.”  
“I want to talk to Tara.”  
“Veronica?”  
“How many of them are there?”  
“Two.”  
“Good. Cooperate as well as I would, alright? Be safe.”  
“You too.”

Salazar takes the phone back and says:  
“2:00 am. I want you there alone. If I see any SAMCRO I’ll shoot Tara in the head.”  
“I’ll be alone. Don’t hurt them.”  
I hang up and say:  
“Get the money together. I have to be there in just over an hour.”

Kozik goes to get the money and I say:  
“Tig, I need a clean gun. Preferably with a silencer.”  
“You’re going to kill him?”  
“If I have to. I’d rather not use my registered gun though.”  
“Fair. I’ll get you one.”

He leaves the room as Kozik comes back with the money.  
“Are you going to be okay doing this?”  
“Don’t really have a choice. Can’t leave Tara with him.”  
“One of us can go.”  
“He said if he saw any SAMCRO he’d shoot Tara in the head. I’m not even telling you where I’m going.”  
“We can’t protect you if we’re not with you.”  
“I don’t need you to protect me.”  
“You’re an old lady, it’s our job to protect you.”

Tig comes back in the room and says:  
“Veronica’s a badass, man. She doesn’t need us.”  
He hands me the gun I asked for and says:  
“Be careful, Veronica. Juice will kill me if something happens to you.”  
“I’m always careful.”  
“Bullshit.”

I lean in and kiss his cheek before saying:  
“I’ll be fine, Tig.”  
I grab the bag of money and walk out of the clubhouse. While I’m on my way to the rest area, I call Clarence.  
“Veronica?”  
“Hey, I may need some assistance in a bit. You available?”  
“What are you doing?”  
“Paying a ransom to get Tara back. There’s a very good chance I will be shooting an asshole. I may need a cleaner.”  
“Where are you going to be?”  
“You know the rest area between Charming and Lodi with the willow trees?”  
“Yeah. I’m not far from there. I’ll head there now.”

When I get to the rest area I take a quick look around and don’t see anyone. I park the car and put the gun from Tig in my purse before getting out of the car. I walk over to a picnic table and sit down to wait for Salazar.

A car pulls in and I wait until they park. A man gets out of the driver’s seat. He’s covered in blood and I panic for a moment until I see him pull Tara out of the car. They walk towards me and I stand up before they reach me.  
“Where is Margaret?”  
“This bitch killed my girlfriend. You won’t be getting the other bitch back. Where is my money?”  
“Right here in this bag.”  
“Open it and show me.”

I unzip the bag and show him the money.  
“If this money is fake I will kill you both.”  
“It’s real.”  
I zip the bag back up and throw it at him. He lets go of Tara and she quickly moves towards me. He picks up the bag and says:  
“It’s nice that someone connected to that club is reasonable.”

He turns around to walk back to his car and I pull the gun out of my purse and shoot him in the head. I then walk over to his body and pick up the bag of money before walking back towards Tara. As I’m putting the bag in the backseat of my car and Tara is getting in, Clarence walks up.  
“Give me the gun.”

I take the silencer off and hand him the gun. He cleans my prints off of it and says:  
“I’ll take care of him and his car. Go back to Teller-Morrow.”  
“Thank you, CW.”  
“No problem…Troublemaker.”

I get in the car and we start our drive back to Teller-Morrow. Tara looks at me and says:  
“You came knowing you were going to kill him.”  
“He never would have stopped coming after us.”  
“You’re not wrong. Thank you, Veronica.”  
“I’m sorry about Margaret, Tara.”  
“Me too. It’s my fault.”  
“No. It’s not. Don’t do that.”

I glance at her and she’s got her hand on her stomach.  
“How far along are you?”  
“Eight weeks. You?”  
“About that. How long was I in Belfast?”  
“A week and a half.”  
“So yeah…between six and eight weeks. I need to go to the doctor.”  
“You know I’m a doctor, right?”  
I laugh and say:  
“Yeah. I guess you are.”  
“Veronica?”  
“Yeah?”  
“The baby is Juice’s, right? Not Jax’s?”  
“I’ve never had sex with Jax.”  
“You haven’t?”  
“What? You just assumed I had?”  
“He’s…pretty fucking crazy about you.”  
“I love Jax. I do. But…no, Tara. Never. The only club member I’ve ever had sex with is Juice.”  
“Unlike Lyla…”  
“Honey. I know she fucked Juice. He told me the next day. Brokedown in tears. He felt awful, especially considering while he was fucking one of my friends I was being raped.”  
“I think she fucked Jax too.”  
“What makes you think that?”  
“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling. I know he fucked Ima. I walked in on them the next day.”  
“Juice fucked Ima too.”  
“Jesus Christ…these fucking man whores.”  
“Right?!”  
“Are they just damaged or is there something wrong with us?”  
“Excuse me? We are fucking amazing. There is nothing wrong with us. They are the fucking problem.”  
“How do we deal with this?”  
“I told Juice if it happens again I’m leaving and he will never see me again. I learned the tricks of disappearing a long time ago. I have everything in place.”  
“Hardline?”  
“Hardline.”  
“Maybe that’s what I need to do.”  
“It’s your call. If you decide that’s what you want, I can help you disappear.”  
“How do you go about disappearing?”  
“You get your hands on as much cash as possible. Cash is key. Get rid of your phone and get a prepaid one. Fake ID is required. Rent a car using a debit/credit card linked to the fake ID. In our situation, leaving the country is best, so a passport is required. Those are basically impossible to fake, so you either need to get a legitimate passport using your fake ID, or you can buy an old one on eBay and give it a makeover. I have a real passport that I got using a fake ID. It’s easier, assuming your ID is well made. Yours would be, fake IDs are kind of my specialty.”  
“Jesus Christ, Veronica. How did you learn that?”  
“I’ve been working as a private investigator since I was sixteen.”  
“How do we go about getting passports for the kids?”  
“That’s even easier. Fake birth certificate and a fake death certificate for the father.”  
“Can you make me a fake ID? Not saying that I’m going to disappear, but you’re right…Having things in place makes sense.”  
“Yeah. I can do that.”

We pull into the lot at Teller-Morrow and get out of the car. As we walk into the clubhouse, I throw the bag of money at Kozik and the silencer at Tig.  
“What did you do with the body?”  
“It’s been disposed of.”  
“How?”  
“Tig. It’s not a club problem. It’s been dealt with.”  
“Clarence?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay. Jax is gonna be pissed that you killed Salazar.”  
“Yeah, I don’t care. If I hadn’t, he never would have left us alone.”  
“You’re right, sweetheart. I’m not disagreeing with you.”

Tara says:  
“I need to go home.”  
I hand her my keys and say:  
“Take my car. I’m going to sleep here tonight.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yup.”

She kisses my cheek and leaves the clubhouse. After she leaves, Kozik says:  
“I’m going home. You okay, Veronica?”  
“Peachy. Goodnight.”  
He walks out of the clubhouse and Tig walks over to me and puts his hand on my cheek, staring at me.  
“What, Tig?”  
“You killed someone tonight. You’re not okay.”  
“You’re right. But I will be.”  
“Do you want me to stay with you?”  
“You’d do that?”  
“Of course.”  
“Please.”

He walks over to the door of the clubhouse and locks it before putting his hand on my back and walking me into the apartment. I close the door behind us and we both take off our shoes and he takes off his cut then we lie down on the bed, him on his back and me on my side curled into him with my head on his chest.


	13. Thirteen

When I hear Tig talking quietly to someone, I wake up and open my eyes. Jax is leaning against the door and shakes his head when he sees that I’m awake.  
“You killed Salazar?”  
“He kidnapped Tara. He wouldn’t have left us alone.”  
“You’re right. Tig, can you give me a few minutes with Veronica?”

Tig lifts my chin so I’m looking at him and I nod, so he gets up and leaves the room. Once the door is closed, Jax locks it and lies down on the bed next to me.  
“You put yourself in danger again.”  
“Salazar requested me. I wasn’t about to let him keep Tara.”  
“You’re trying to give me a fucking heart attack. Do you know how it felt to be told that you had gone to do the exchange by yourself? I was so afraid that I was going to lose Tara and you…And then hearing from Kozik that you killed Salazar…Jesus Christ, Ronnie.”  
“Clarence was there. I wasn’t alone.”

He puts his hand on my cheek and leans in before kissing me. I put my hand on the back of his neck as I shift my body closer to his. He growls and deepens the kiss as he shifts so he’s on top of me. I run my hands down his back to the bottom of his shirt, then I run them up his abdomen under his shirt, moaning against his mouth as I run my fingers over his muscles. He pulls off of my mouth and takes off his shirt before bending down to kiss along my jaw and down my neck. He runs his hand over my stomach and down to the button on my jeans. He quickly undoes my pants and slides his hand inside. As his fingers touch my clit, I gasp and say:  
“No. No. We can’t do this. Stop.”  
“Veronica…I love you.”  
“And I love you, but you cheating on Tara is hurting her. I won’t help you do that. Get off of me.”

He pulls his hand out of my pants but doesn’t move off of me.  
“Jax…please don’t make this harder than it already is.”  
“How do you know it’s hurting her?”  
“We talked about it. She asked if my baby was yours. She just assumed that we had slept together.”  
“You’ll take care of her and my kids while I’m gone, right?”  
“Gone where?”  
“We’re going back to prison…soon. Juice and I will be inside when you both give birth.”  
“Of course you will be. Get off of me.”

He rolls off of me and I get up off the bed and do my pants back up.  
“Stop cheating on Tara. She deserves better than that.”  
“Yeah…I know.”  
“And put your shirt back on. This is not helping my self-control.”  
“He loves you more than anything, you know.”  
“He has a funny way of showing it. Is it really that difficult to be faithful to the person you’ve promised to be faithful to? Is there something wrong with me? I don’t understand.”  
“There is nothing wrong with you.”  
“I find that hard to believe.”

I put my shoes on and walk over to the door, unlocking it and leaving the room. As I walk down the hallway I throw my hair up into a ponytail before walking into the main clubhouse. All the guys except Juice are sitting at the bar when I walk into the room. Opie gets up and walks over to me when I walk in.  
“He left when Tig came out of the apartment and you stayed in there with Jax.”  
“Nothing happened.”  
“No-one is judging you, baby. But he left.”  
“Where did he go?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“I need to get my car back from Tara. Can you take me?”  
“Yeah. Of course.”  
“Thanks.”

I grab my bag and walk out of the clubhouse. As Opie and I approach his bike, Juice pulls in. Opie says:  
“You still want me to take you?”  
“Yes. Please.”

I feel Juice staring at me as Opie and I pull out of the lot. When we get to Jax’s, I get off the bike and say:  
“Thanks.”  
“Veronica…Are you okay?”  
“No. But I will be. Don’t worry about me.”  
“Yeah, not possible, but okay.”

I walk away and go into the house.  
“Tara?”  
“Bedroom.”  
I walk into the bedroom and say:  
“I need my car.”  
“Yeah. The keys are in my purse.”  
“You okay?”  
“Jax hasn’t come home yet.”  
“He’s at the clubhouse. I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”  
“Thanks.”

We walk out of the bedroom and she grabs my keys out of my purse. As she hands them to me, she says:  
“Come in tomorrow morning for an exam, okay?”  
“Yeah. Okay.”  
I kiss her and walk out of the house. 

I head home and go into the bedroom before grabbing clean clothes and going to shower. Once I’m clean and dressed I go back to the bedroom and pack a bag. I write Juice a note saying:  
‘I love you. I just need some time away from the club. I know you’re going back inside. I know you won’t be here when the baby is born. I will try to be back before you go back in. If I’m not, stay alive. I need you. Please, please just be faithful to me while I’m gone. I don’t understand why this is so difficult for you. Why aren’t I enough? What’s the matter with me?’

I put the note on his bedside table with my engagement ring sitting on top of it, and then I leave the room and the house. I get in the car and drive to Eli’s house. When I get there I get out of the car and walk up to the door. As I get to the door, he opens it and says:  
“You want to stay here for a bit?”  
“Please?”  
I start to cry and he pulls me into a hug and then we walk into the house. I put my bag down and we sit on the couch. Eli takes my hand and says:  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“No. Can we just watch a movie or something?”  
“Of course. Let me call Marcus and tell him I’m not available.”

He pulls his phone out and dials a number.  
“Hey, boss.”  
…  
“I’m not available today.”  
…  
“I have a runaway old lady hiding in my house. She will be here for a while, but today she needs me.”  
…  
“No. They don’t know where I live.”  
…  
“I’d appreciate that.”  
…  
“I’m sure she’d like that. Just make sure no SAMCRO tail you.”  
…  
“Yeah. See you later boss.”  
He hangs up and says:  
“Give me your keys. I’m going to move your car into the garage.”  
I hand him my keys and he leaves the house. 

While he’s gone my phone rings. It’s Juice, so I ignore it. Then a message comes in:  
‘Where are you? Come home.’

As Eli walks back into the house another message comes in:  
‘Don’t do this. I know I fucked up. It’ll never happen again. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are enough. I’m so sorry, Veronica. Please come home.’

I turn my phone off and throw it into my purse. Eli says:  
“What movie do you want to watch?”  
“Why are you even asking that?”  
“Right. What was I thinking?”  
He puts the movie in and sits on the couch. I curl up next to him, but before he presses play, his phone rings.

He looks at it and sighs before answering it on speaker.  
“What do you want?”  
“Have you spoken to Veronica?”  
“I talk to Veronica all the time. Why?”  
“She left me.”  
“I’m shocked it took so long.”  
“Why are you such an ass?”  
“You aren’t good enough for her. You never have been. And since she’s been with you this time she has been beaten and gang-raped, and then kidnapped and taken to fucking Belfast. You’ve also cheated on her twice. Which…honestly man…What the fuck? You have this amazingly perfect girl who is insanely in love with you and you do something stupid like cheat on her?”  
“I know I’m an idiot. Weevil…I need her. She needs to come home.”  
“This isn’t about what you need, Norris. This is about Veronica. I don’t give a shit about you and your goddamn needs. All I care about is her. Don’t call me again.”  
He hangs up and puts his phone down before wrapping his arms around me as I cry.


	14. Fourteen

“Veronica…What happened while you were in Belfast?”  
“Belfast was fine. I was with a woman and her daughter. They treated me well.”  
“On the way to Belfast?”  
“Nothing important.”  
“I’ll fucking kill him.”  
“The IRA already did.”  
“Good.”  
“Can we watch the movie?”  
“Yes…are you going to do all the voices?”  
“Always.”

He shakes his head and settles back in how he was sitting before aside from leaving one of his arms around my shoulders. He presses play and then presses ignore on his phone when it rings again.  
“Juice?”  
“No. Jax.”  
“Ah.”

We’re about halfway through the movie when there’s a knock on the door.   
“Get in the bedroom, V.”  
I grab my bags and go into the bedroom before he opens the door. I can’t see what’s happening, but I can hear them.   
“How the hell did you figure out where I live?”  
Juice says:  
“I hacked the DMV. Where is Veronica?”  
“Not here, man. If she’s hiding from you, she’s going to be somewhere you can’t find her.”  
“Just watching The Big Lebowski by yourself?”  
“I’ve been friends with Veronica long enough that I’ve grown to appreciate it. I mean, I don’t do all the voices like she does, but I enjoy the movie.”  
“I don’t believe you. I know she’s here. Do you really want to risk our treaty on this?”  
“This won’t affect the treaty. If she is here, she’s here because she wants to be. The presidents won’t give a shit.”  
Juice is quiet for a minute and then Eli says:  
“Put the gun away, man. You shooting me will fuck the treaty.”

I step out of the bedroom and say:  
“Jesus Christ. Enough. I left you. I need time. Deal with it. Go home. Act like a fucking adult. Don’t come here and threaten my best friend.”  
“Did you fuck Jax this morning?”  
“No. I did not. Once again, only one of us is a cheater and it isn’t me.”  
“You were alone in the apartment with him.”  
“Yes. I was. We kissed. He put his hand in my pants and I stopped him. I stopped. I walked away from him. We talked about him cheating on Tara and how much it hurts her. I told him to stop cheating on her. That’s what fucking happened.”  
“And when you left with Opie?”  
“He took me to Jax’s to get my car back from Tara.”  
“And then?”  
“I went home, showered, changed, packed, left you a note, and came here.”   
“Stay at our house, babe. I’ll stay at the apartment if you need space.”  
“I didn’t want to kick you out of your house…because it is your house. Not ours.”  
“What the hell are you talking about?”

Eli says:  
“V, do you need me here?”  
“No…I guess not.”  
“I’ll just be out back. Yell if you need me, sweetheart.”

He leaves and I walk over to the couch and sit down.  
“Come sit down, Juice.”  
He walks over and sits next to me before taking my hand and intertwining our fingers.  
“I love you, Veronica. I have loved you since we were eight, and I’ve been completely and totally head over heels in love with you since we were sixteen.”  
“Then explain Lyla and Ima to me. If you are so in love with me, why did you cheat on me?”  
“I was so drunk, baby. Both nights I was so drunk I barely remember anything.”  
“Maybe you need to stop drinking.”  
“Yeah. I already figured that out after I fucked that whore.”  
“Before or after I broke her nose about it?”  
“The broken nose was you?”  
“Yes.”  
“What did you hit her with?”  
“My elbow. She felt the need to go into detail about how you fucked her. It angered me.”  
“I remember that I fucked her, but I don’t remember anything about it.”  
“Judging by her description, it wasn’t your best performance. Which makes me happy, but it hurts that it happened.”  
“My best performances are always with you. I love you, Veronica…So much. What did you mean about it not being our house?”  
“It’s not. It’s yours. I just live there. It’s fine when you’re home, because then I have you, and literally anywhere would feel like home…But when you aren’t there…It’s not my home. It’s yours, and it feels wrong to be there without you.”  
“Do you want to get a new house?”  
“No. That’s not…not what I meant.”  
“What did you mean then, love?”  
“That I need you to feel at home. And now you’re going back to prison for god knows how long. I’m going to have our baby without you…Again.”  
“I know…I’m so sorry, Veronica.”  
“What do we do, Juice? Tell me what to do.”  
“Come home. We’ll buy a new house…together. We’ll get new furniture…together. Before I go inside…hopefully.”  
“You’re not drinking anymore?”  
“I’m not drinking anymore. I love you too much to risk it…To risk you. I can’t lose you again. Please come home, Veronica.”

I move so I’m straddling him and I kiss him, deepening the kiss as he wraps his arms around me. I run my nails over his scalp and moan against his mouth when he pulls my ponytail out and tangles one of his hands in my hair. I grind down against him and he groans against my mouth. Behind me I hear:  
“If you two start fucking on my couch, I’m joining in.”

I laugh against Juice’s mouth and pull back to say:  
“I’m not opposed to that.”  
Juice growls and says:  
“I am.”  
“Of course you are. Go away and let us finish our movie.”  
“Are you coming home?”  
“Later.”  
“Define later.”  
“At some point before tomorrow morning, I will be home.”  
“I guess I have to accept that as an answer. Can you take your ring back, please?”  
“Yeah.”

I climb off of his lap and he reaches in his pocket and pulls my ring out. I take it from him and put it back on my finger.   
“Go away.”  
“You are coming home?”  
“Yes, Juice. I am coming home.”  
“You promise?”  
“Yes. I promise.”

He leaves the house and Eli and I sit back down on the couch to finish our movie.  
“Are you sure about going home? You said you needed time and he just ignored you.”  
I start to cry and say:  
“I know…But I’m going to get lots of time when he’s inside again…which is going to be soon…I don’t think I can do this without him, Eli. I can’t have this baby without him there…Not again. What if something happens? What if I lose this baby too? What if I have to bury another child without him?”  
“Oh, sweetheart. You can do this. Nothing is going to happen to that baby. You have SAMCRO and the Mayans looking out for you. I promise that nothing is going to happen.”  
“You can’t promise that, Eli.”  
“My darling…”  
“You can’t promise that nothing’s going to happen.”  
“When do you go to the doctor?”  
“Tomorrow.”  
“You should tell her how you’re feeling anxiety and depression wise, love. I remember what you were like after you lost Angelica. I just don’t want it to mess you up too badly.”  
“Yeah. I know.”  
“I’m here for you when he goes inside. If you need someone at appointments or the day of the birth, I’m here.”

I kiss his cheek and say:  
“Thank you.”  
“Which members are not going inside?”  
“Piney, Opie, Chibs, Happy…Kozik’s gonna be around.”  
“So you’ll be fine then. Opie is in love with you. He’s not going to let anything happen to you. And Chibs adores Juice, so same deal.”

I shrug and snuggle back into his side.  
“I was thinking I might go home once Juice goes inside. Stay with Dad and Alicia until he gets out again.”  
“What about school?”  
“I graduated early. Took extra classes online. Juice doesn’t know.”  
“What about law school?”  
“I think I’m going to stick with working for Clarence. I killed a man yesterday…I don’t think I can pass the ethics board to be able to practice law.”  
“You killed a man?”  
“I shot Salazar in the back of the head after the exchange. Took the money back. He never would have left us alone.”  
“Oh, Veronica…”  
“What? Like you’ve never killed anyone before?”  
“That’s not the point…Jesus Christ. What have they done to you?”  
“They didn’t do anything. I did the practical thing. Why are you being like this?”  
“Listen to yourself, V. You killed a man. Rather than getting me to do it, or Clarence or one of the SAMCRO guys…You did it. The sheriff’s daughter. What the hell?”  
“No-one else was there. It was during the exchange for Tara. I did what I needed to.”

He’s quiet for a moment and then says:  
“Question…”  
“Yes?”  
“Which last name is the baby getting? Mars? Clayton? Ortiz? And for that matter, which last name are you taking when you marry him?”  
“I assume Ortiz, but yeah…I guess we should have that conversation.”

He sighs and says:  
“Can I be real with you for a minute?”  
“Always.”  
“V…As much as I love having you here…I think you should use those things you have in place and disappear. This place isn’t safe for you…For that baby. I meant what I said earlier…He’s not good enough for you. He never has been. There is something dark inside him, baby…Something darker than what’s in the rest of us. Right now he’s able to control it, but love…he’s not going to be able to forever. He’s going to end up doing something awful. His life is going to end badly, baby. All of our lives are. You can get out though. Go, baby.”  
“I am not taking his family away from him. He doesn’t do well on his own. He never has. The only way he’s going to be able to maintain control of his darkness is if he’s not alone. If I leave, he’s doomed. I won’t do that to him. I won’t leave him to the darkness, Eli. He’s the love of my life. I know exactly who he is and what he’s capable of…probably better than he does.”


	15. Fifteen

When our movie is over, Eli goes outside to move my car out of the garage again and I turn my phone on. I have messages from some of the guys and Tara.

From Juice:  
‘I know you’re at Eli’s. I hate that you ran to him.’  
‘Please keep your promise, Veronica. I need you. I can’t be alone.’  
‘I love you.’  
I respond:  
‘I’m leaving Eli’s now. I will never leave you alone, Juice. I love you.’  
‘Where are you?’

From Jax:  
‘You left him. This isn’t because of what happened with us, is it? I can control myself. You don’t have to leave.’  
‘Come home, Veronica.’  
‘He says he found you and talked to you. You are coming home right?’  
I respond:  
‘Not everything is about you, Jackson. Yes, I’m coming home.’

From Chibs:  
‘Come home darlin’.’  
‘He loves you.’  
‘You know he doesn’t do well on his own, love.’  
I respond:  
‘I’m coming home Chibs. I just needed time. I know he doesn’t do well on his own.’

From Tara:  
‘8:00 am tomorrow…my office. Okay?’  
I respond:  
‘I’ll be there.’

I grab my bags out of the bedroom and kiss Eli as I leave the house.  
“Thank you. I’m sorry he showed up.”  
“It’s alright, V…but love, seriously think about what I said. You are not responsible for keeping him away from the darkness. You have to do what is best for you and that baby.”  
“Eli…What’s best for me and this baby is to have Juice with us. He is the man I love, he is this child’s father. I need you to let me make this decision for myself. I love you, you are my best friend…But I will not disappear on him unless I have to.”  
“Okay. I’m here for you no matter what.”  
I kiss him again and walk out.

As I’m getting in the car, my phone buzzes with a message:  
‘I’m at home…Come home, baby.’  
‘I’m on my way.’

When I get home, I walk inside and lock the door behind me.   
“Juice? Babe?”  
“Kitchen, Ronnie.”  
I walk into the kitchen and find him making dinner. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist.   
“Do you have a minute?”  
“Yeah…I have about ten before dinner is ready.”  
“Good. Let’s talk.”

We sit down at the kitchen table and I move my chair so I can touch him.   
“Are you leaving me, Veronica? I know you…I know you have things in place so you can disappear if things get bad.”  
“Hey…I’m not going anywhere. Yes. I have those things in place, but I have them in place for us…not just me. It’s so we can disappear…Not just me, babe.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes, moron. I don’t want to be without you. I’ll go without you if I need to, but I don’t want to.”  
“I love you.”  
“I need you to listen to me very carefully…I know that you don’t do well on your own. I know that there’s a darkness in you that you have trouble controlling. I know that’s why you left when we were teenagers. I know it’s harder to control when you’re alone. I know you get inside your own thoughts and it’s hard to crawl back out. I am not leaving you. I am not taking your child away from you. I’m right here, with you, where I belong. I will not leave you to battle the darkness alone. I love you. All of you. I know what you’re capable of, and it doesn’t scare me. You don’t scare me. You are the love of my life. If I can get you to leave this place, this club, I will be so happy…But if I can’t…Baby, I’m right here with you. No matter what happens.”


End file.
